boo, you whores.

Hey everyone, can we get a round of applause for Zoe, who has expertly covered all things PH while I have been dying alive?
Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, let’s be bitter.
We forever reject the non-touching of conference trophies.
They are called balls, and you can probably find them in your mother’s uterus where you left them. Maybe then you’ll be man enough to get shit done. But we kind of still doubt it.

So, here’s our position on the whole finals thing.
Seeing as the Habs probably aren’t going to have Stunning Comeback pt.2, the finals are going to be the Flyers and the motherfucking Blackhawks. We used to like the Hawks. Now they make us want to slaughter innocent children.
They got arrogant without struggle.
They got cocky without history.
Nothing is backing up those egos. Plus, having already lost the Cup as Pens fans, seeing Hossa lose again is probably the next best thing (if the Blue Jackets are going to keep on ‘a failing.) Srsly. We’ll throw a party.
So, we guess that brings it down to this: We’re rooting for the Flyers.
If you can’t go home team, backup team, second backup team, third backup team, or the Louisiana Muskrats, you might as well root in-state. Tuition is cheaper.
We know it hurts.
Trust us, we got signed up to write the Puck Daddy eulogy for the Flyers before the playoffs even started. Most enjoyable post of the year, and we’re rooting against ourselves being able to write it.

This is a tough one, but we just can’t go any other way. At least the Flyers have been playing some enjoyable hockey, and that’s really all we ever ask of anyone. Well, and for everyone to not be so goddamn fat, but we can’t get everything all the time and we’ll choose our battles wisely.
Well, really, we choose this battle too. But we’ll deal with that in the off season with some expertly mailed Slim Fast and crystal meth. Making the NHL a better place one priority mail box at a time.

It IS hockey. The Habs could always call on the hockey gods to make something happen. But we all just kind of know it’s not going to go down like that. If we’re wrong, hey, we’ll have some unexpected writing to do over at Yahoo! Sports. But we’re not really gearing ourselves up for it.

Here’s one last look of JoeJoe looking hot and bothered for the road.

What he’s doing to Tazer from behind is anybody’s guess.

And with that, we bid the Sharks farewell.
At least you didn’t choke until round three this time, boys.

And, of course, as always;
Go Pens.


About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.