BREAKING NEWS

Life just Calrolled you in the face.
That is, in fact, the breaking news. Because really everything is kind of boring if you put it next to that shirt that Cal is wearing.
So, let’s have a moment here, you and me, about some Important Things in the life of Cal Clutterbuck.
Did you know Cal owns a number of unreal shirts?
Did you know that Cal’s favorite meal is “Chicken wings at CC’s Dugout in Welland, Ontario.”
That his favorite player in the NHL is Joe Sakic?
That, according to the Girlfriend Forums:

His girlfriend is

Cassie DePalo losers she is from Canada

(In exactly those fonts.)

That Cal is a stone cold pimp?

Yeah, sure, all wholesome and nice.
The name of this photo on flikr is:

“Cal and my wife.”

GETTIN’ PRETTY COZY THERE, CAL.

 

We’re just saying, don’t underestimate Cal.

But don’t be afraid to ask questions. Such as “Why are his shoulders so small?”

So…anyway…



Hopefully that video will work, if not someone will have to come and rescue me from my own terrible html skillz, but, just in case, let me describe it to you (sensually):
Brooks has a black eye. He uses the word “scrambly” and still manages to sound menacing.
It is a true talent.

Remember our poll over there in the sidebar. I just tried to vote Tuukka Rask, but I was told I had a “bad token”, which probably means that Zoe took away my right to vote.
Really, it’s probably for the good of the people.

We realize this has been rambling, but, we have one last very important issue to cover.
We need a kind of call to action for this one. Maybe we’ll put together a focus group.
Tostitos Lime:
Have they Changed?
So we need some people to go out and buy some TL this week, because we are seriously concerned.
The Tostitos lime of our youth were dusted with a sand-like substance, with little neon green dots of deliciousness.
Recently a bag of TL came into our lives. Now they seem to be coated in some sort of normal salt, and the green specks are now large and dark green, almost mistakable for spices rather than horrible toxic chemicals that will kill you.
Of course, our first thought was “Oh no! They took out the MSG!”
But we checked, and everything was in order.
So we really don’t know, and we need some other opinions in the mix, so go try some out and compare them in your mind to the chips of the past. Maybe if we find out why Tostitos Lime were so much better at the Beginning of Things, we’ll understand how to win the Stanley Cup again.
Go forth, and do Science.
Go Pens.
Kim

About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.

Quantcast