overload

Tonight was fairly brutal, because we had a game against the Florida Panthers to watch, promptly followed by HBO’s 24/7.
We’ll be providing an in-depth recap of 24/7 in the coming days. Perhaps on Christmas Eve, after this whole Caps business has blown over. We’ve been hearing rumblings in the Muskrats management about what the team’s next moves will be to try to save the franchise from certain embarrassment. Understandably, we’ve been distracted.

The game that happened between the Penguins and Florida tonight felt like a period of time where life didn’t make sense. There was no flow or consistency to this game by either team. Perhaps the only constant was that both Johnson and Fleury were on top of their shit. We of course wish Brent a speedy recovery, but we know that the Pens are playing at a high level in general right now–the cards have yet to fall as they will.
Incredibly short turnaround to Washington, and last-minute Christmas shopping hangs in the balance. Here’s a quick rundown:


MOST PONIES BEQUEATHED

Tyler Kennedy gave Mark Letestu some of his birthday ponies for his turning of Tomas Vokoun into a prostrate statue.
Lots of ponies. Lots of bitches. Ladies, if you want a piece of the Test Tube, get in line, and fucking Letestify.
TK’s face = a kid circa 1999 finding out he just got Bop It Extreme for Hanukkah.

MOST UNDERWHELMED

Weiss, after scoring his equalizer and getting his team back on the wagon.

FEWEST OR MOST FUCKS GIVEN, WE CAN’T TELL

Sidney Crosby after extending his points streak to yet another ridiculous number.
Actually he should have given a major fuck, because guess what stud got an assist?

This guy. hooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

BIGGEST FUCK YOU
Cooke snipejobbing someone second game in a row.

Vokoun was done. We give him a supplementary award for Most Symmetrical Photo.

OUR SECOND FAVORITE IVY LEAGUER
You know, because we can’t discount Craig Adams.
Ben Lovejoy had a goal in the second and a fight in the game that was more cuddly than anything.
No video yet on YouTube, but eventually, you’ll see it. Go Dartmouth!

MOST UNAPPRECIATIVE BRYAN MCCABE

This is Bryan McCabe on the bench apparently after scoring the goal that put his team within 2. William Thomas had the primary assist, and we wondered why that goal mysteriously made us a little excited in the pants. But like a Smokey Robinson song, the contradictions weren’t enough to save the Panthers from their mire of intense depression and heartsickness.

Basically: the Pens defense and the Panthers’ ineptitude and the goalies ensured that Chernobyl watch didn’t have to go into effect. Dupuis with the empty netter. It was over.


PENS WIN
5-2
washington finally eeeep

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS

FACE OF THE DAY

Clemmmmmmmmmerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS
The actual #1 star was given to Ben Lovejoy, which breaks our minds and warms our hearts, so we don’t even know how to run this portion of the recap anymore.
Let’s just say.
1. Brent Johnson
2. Evgeny Dadonov, for being a -3 and having the Most Ominous Name
3. Bill Thomas, for making it ~*home*~ for the holidays.

Love and HBO to all.

GO PENS.

Zoë

About Zoë

living in Boston, chronically fussy, fills recaps with references to Robert Scott's last march and literary theory among other things.

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