this_happened

playing with the unknowns

Travels to Atlanta, Georgia are always nebulous, like we said. We wonder why there is a hockey team in Atlanta and if anyone else knows about it.
We love Georgia. But if we ever move to the land of sweet tea and violence, could we ever be Thrashers fans?

. . .the dramatic silhouettes do not have us convinced.

Awards? K.

MOMENT YOU REALIZED HOW COOL OUR FARM TEAM IS
Early on, Conner, Letestu, and Goligoski have some awesome shift together.
Rupp and Thorburn throw down:

Then Brent Sopel scored but I apparently didn’t even notice it enough to mention it in my notes. I apparently knew we were winning?
Byfuglien’s too fat to score on Fleury and you are also glad that we don’t fatten up our young players with bacon like whoever trained Dustin.
We used to like Dustin, until he got cocky with Chicago, and then he became bad.



We also wonder why exactly Brent Sopel looks like a low-grade weed dealer circa 1973:

Thank god these boys didn’t grow up in our neighborhood.

MOMENT YOU MOST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GET RAPED
The Pens are on some power play and for some reason the Thrashers are doing the unthinkable and being aggressive on their PK.
Towards the end of the PP, the play is back in the Pens’ zone, and then you hear it: TTHHHHHHHRAAAAASSHHHERSSSS FULL STRENGTHHHH
like he’s grunting it into your ear in the middle of a one-night stand after an ill-advised night at the bar after the county fair.

No comment.

PERIOD THAT MAY HAVE DRIVEN YOU TO INSANITY
To start the second, Bob Errey comments that Max Talbot (who missed the first several minutes of the game getting his badass face stitched up after taking something above the eye in practice) is probably to blame for the Pens’ emotional distress.
OH NOES WE’RE WITHOUT MAX FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES?!?!?
Not sure on that one, Bobby. Line identity is important over the course of the season, but for 5 minutes? Come now.
(He probably just wanted an excuse to go down there and get the real scoop from the boys in the locker room.)

Pens don’t get shit going at all and you want to punch them. Chris Conner already looks a million times more competent and driven than Mike Comrie though.
Talbot deflects in a Goligoski shot, but it is taken away by an absolutely bizarre goaltender interference call on Mike Rupp.
He only did what makes the national media ram Tomas Holmstrom’s dick down their throats repeatedly for hours on end.
But okay.
Here is a sample of my notes from the game so that you may revisit your own fragile mental state during this dreary time:

Malkin has a wide open net after a beautiful give and go with Kunitz, misses the net for real?
how does a telestrator circle fit around Byfuglien
Tang gets a puck in his bad hand.
God damn.

hate everyone.
So we want the puck, right?
Steiggy “I don’t mean to be critical of ben Eager. . .” of course you do

MOST BIZARRE SEQUENCES
The Thrashers look dangerous in the Pens’ zone for awhile. Then Bergfors falls backward on his bum for no reason. He was like a five-year-old on skates for the first time. In one glorious moment. Play goes the other way. Asham and Malkin with the give and go. It’s hot, it’s beautiful, it’s a goal:
malks_goal_1
We think this is from the first goal. We’ll take it. Pavelec got a little confused on that play.
Pens kill some other penalty, then Bob Errey is at it again:
“Brooks Orpik absolutely launched Peverley into the wall like he was a piece of paper.”
We’d hate to see Brooks Orpik commit violence against paper.

MOST BEAUTIFUL BLOODBATH
Late in the second period there is some weird sequence where Brooks sticks his hip out, destroys someone, and then takes a stick to the mouth. They’re killing a penalty to start the third:
brooks_bloodbrooks_blood_2
God, Brooksie, do you ever stop? I mean we know the answer to this question.

MOMENT THAT WASN’T A JINX
Steiggy and Errey discuss that Sid is “due” for a goal. Apparently he has scored in 5 straight games or something? Are we hearing this correctly?

sid_goal
Awesome redirect on a shot from Engelland. Engelland is a beast.

MOMENT THE POWER PLAY ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING
Pens are running the usual power play when Crosby somehow pulls off an absurd bank pass from the backboards. Pavelec looks around like someone told him girls were making out in the front row. Malkin buries it.

Pens suddenly have a 3-1 lead. All rests on this.

WHEN YOU BATTENED DOWN THE HATCHES
We hear an extended conversation about Craig Adams and foxholes.
Eager gives some hilarious giveaway to Dupuis. Eager is a fucking asshole. But you knew this. Nothing comes of the giveaway other than we get to talk more about how Ben Eager is terrible.
Then, Bergfors puts one home. Feels like he scores on Fleury more than Veronique does.
We wish we had something to give you, anything, in the form of an illustration.
But we can’t. The press didn’t cooperate. It’s 3-2.
Meltdown or takedown. YOUR CHOICE, BOYS.

WISEST CHOICE
Fleury makes an enormous save on Eager with three people sitting on top of his head. Not even kidding or exaggerating.
Thrashers pull Pavelec, act like things matter in life.
Malkin coasts in for the empty net. Thrashers defenders try to maintain dignity by giving up on the play.
HAT TRICK CITY.

goals_that_happened_again

PENS WIN
4-2
NOT A PROBLEM.

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS

THICKEST

Chris Thorburn, according to Bob Errey

MOST CURIOUS CASE OF GOOGLE PREDICTIVE SEARCH BOMBS
sopel_gay
why?

ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS

1. Marc-Andre Fleury – still believing in you, bb
2. Bob Errey – strong performance all night
3. Byfuglien’s second stomach – it tried

We’ll see the Pens play the Rangers on Monday.
The Rangers are still a team?
k.

Go Pens.

Zoë

About Zoë

living in Boston, chronically fussy, fills recaps with references to Robert Scott's last march and literary theory among other things.

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