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the longest month.

So we’re really kind of in the home stretch of dullness right now.
August is the hell of hockey fans. Even the hope of preseason is too far off to really bank on.
What the hell do we do?
Well…We could be like Danny B and go visit Malks.
Malks, is that a scarf printed onto your shirt?
Did you miss how fashionable it was to have a cold neck?
Someone get this person back on the ice before he loses his goddamn mind.
Just in case you wanted to mimic this stylish statement from the NHL’s sweetheart, we’ve found all outlets for you to do so.

FOR THE TOUGH GUY
The purple scarf popular with Jewish grandmothers worldwide no longer needs to be purchased separately from your white T.
FOR THE HIPSTER
Can’t find your ironic striped scarf and sunglasses that haven’t been fashionable since the 1980s?
OMGZ LOOK THEY ARE RIGHT THERE!
Coming up next: ski masks with ironic moustaches included.
FOR THE LAZY FASHIONISTA
We admit this is kind of cute.
But it would be even better with a real fuckin’ scarf.
Who is going to shell out $150 for this scarf print dress when you could actually buy the items separately for much less, AND accesorize both things differently.
Oh Evs, if only you could wear dresses.
THE ASPIRING DRAMZ ACTOR
Wut.
YOUR MOM
So we’re just over here stretching our sass wings.
We need to get back into the swing of things before we get too much dust on our keyboards.
In the coming weeks we’ll have some things to get you guys amped for the season.
Expect all new features, contests, INTERACTIVE FEATURES.
Ideas / requests / suggestions / love letters
Just email ‘em on over.
Go Pens.
ETA: Arron Asham = we don’t know.  Don’t we already have Matt Cooke under contract?  Not gonna complain a ton about 700k.
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