Once again, it is Friday, and once again, I am angry. Here’s what pissing me off today:
1. My husband’s schedule.
Sure, I know that there are people out there who don’t even get to see their spouses (like military people or those who drive trucks) but the husband and I live in the same damn house and don’t have either of those types of jobs, and after he left this morning, I won’t be seeing him until Saturday afternoon. He has to do the following things:
– Work a full day at work
– Go to the Meadows casino and play with his band
– Drive back to Ligonier so he gets a parking spot for Fort Ligonier Days tomorrow
– Sleep in his truck
– Wake up and march in the parade with his bagpipe band
So he’s going to come home cranky and tired, and I’m gonna have to deal with it.
Not even seeing the husband make this face will make up for it
2. Commercial Halloween.
I complained last week about the rise of slutty Halloween costumes for the ladies, but I think they’re symptomatic of a larger problem: the over-commercialization of the entire Halloween holiday.
Sure, I get it, it’s fun to dress up in costumes and eat lots of candy. But I am firmly of the opinion that Halloween is largely a holiday for kids – or at least it should be – and that adults co-opting it is kind of ridiculous.
Look, I don’t have any Halloween-related nostalgia to play on. When I was growing up, I lived in a hole, in a cave, on the side of a mountain. The concept of trick-or-treating, like you would do on suburban sidewalks, was nonexistent. And there was usually a Halloween blizzard. One year we went trick-or-treating at my dad’s college’s frat houses, which was the closest thing to a normal Halloween experience I ever had.
The neighbors up the street have gone all out decorating their house for Halloween. There’s an inflatable Frankenstein mouth around their door. BUT OUR NEIGHBORHOOD DOESN’T HAVE SIDEWALKS AND WE NEVER GET A SINGLE TRICK-OR-TREATER.
Also, what’s with this bullshit about having trick or treat “hours”? If you’re a grownup with kids, go out with your kids and have a nice time with them. If you don’t have kids, or don’t want to go out with them, STAY THE FUCK HOME AND HAND OUT CANDY.
3. Every single obnoxious Caps fan.
Look, you probably saw the game last night. At least, you did if you’re a self-respecting Pens fan. It was ridiculous. What I hate more than the Capitals winning games is their dumb-ass fans crowing like this means something in the larger scheme of things.
YES, YOU GOT TWO POINTS. GOOD FOR YOU. IT’S GAME FUCKING FIVE OF THE REGULAR SEASON DOUCHEBAGS.
The inimitable @Rupper_Puns and I had the following Twitter exchange last night:
Like, come on, people. Seriously?
I am tired of obnoxious Caps fans treating every regular-season victory like it’s some massively significant thing. Yes, we are rivals, and yes, it’s very satisfying to win games. But there’s a reason I love to watch the Caps choke in the playoffs, regardless of how well the Pens are doing.
Schadenfreude may not be very becoming, but boy, it is satisfying.