First and foremost we must remind you all to register to go to Las Vegas for the NHL awards show. Seeing as PH staff receive their invitations delivered by hand from various NHL star players, we promote you guys getting some free tickets and living it up while we critique fashion and speeches and generally boo the undeserving recipients the NHL has chosen this year.
The Penguins were in my territory last night, and I was somewhere in the 38th hour of sleep deprivation when the game started. Feeling weirdly alive, I figured I’d have no problem finishing up the game and recapping. That was before I started seeing the Ambien walrus with zero input from ambien.
Not too far from the truth.
By the time this was happening:
My email looked like this:
Seeing as how I often walk the two miles to and from my place of work because I am too poor to afford subway tokens, this was clearly a problem.
However, I do suggest Chocomize.
I made a candy bar that contained: beef jerky, bacon bits, coffee grounds, mini chipotle peppers and 23 karate gold flakes.
I named it the MANdy Bar.
So, needless to say I passed out shortly after all of the delirium, and had some really weird dreams for about 14 hours. (It’s called REM rebound, bitches, and it’s a fact. If you want to watch the coolest, weirdest movie in your brain during the night, just stop sleeping for over 40 hours. Then you can marry Brooks Orpik and have half-zebra children and live in the auditorium of what you understand to be your former high school but really looks like a shopping mall when you think about it.)
It’s all that I can ever really ask for that the citizens of this city be miserable while I flit about the streets in Pens gear, telling them all they can go to hell, and the Penguins delivered on that.
Thank you, men.
In other news, Mike Comrie is coming back tonight, which is cool. Zoe will be getting the game (and I’m no fortune teller, but I feel a drunkblog in the air and it smells like nachos and cheap tequila) so give her your attention and ever-loving respect.
Waiting for media last night before passing out led me to prepare this for the recap that never happened, but I thought I’d share my fevered train of thought anyway: