rupp

life and death

Hey, remember this?

Us neither.
Bouncing back from an absolutely demoralizing loss off of Kovalchuk’s stick the next day isn’t something you wanted to expect the Pens to do. Expectation leaves to disappointment. You could have just settled down with a bottle of whiskey to play the Matt Bartkowski Drinking Game with Paul Steigerwald and gotten hammered in the first period to prevent further emotional pain.
But then you would have missed it. Nobody checked out of this game. The display of work ethic was unbelievable. Unless your name is Dennis Seidenberg. ooooh burn

Basically, this season has been a roller coaster of blasphemy. Like a religiously-motivated war or Spanish Inquisition, we are kicking ass and taking names. The Bruins defense can’t burn enough crosses tonight. The Pens worked harder.

PLAYS YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE CIRCLED
Early on, all the Bruins fans are booing Matt Cooke. Whatever, it apparently motivated him to play an actual hockey game instead of elbowing some dude.
Bruins almost score but Ben Lovejoy ensures that it doesn’t happen by getting on his knees and protecting Fleury’s crease. Lucic is given free reign to attack Kris Letang. Basically your standard first period early shift of being pissed off. Steiggy and Errey pass the time by talking about Matt Bartkowski for like 10 minutes, while Fleury stands on his head for awhile.
Pens almost score, but it was TK in a crucial moment. Shit.

WORD OF THE NIGHT
THUMPER. Said by Steigerwald approximately a million times tonight. Possible sources of inspiration include Brooks Orpik. Unfortunately the only current #44 on the ice is Dennis Seidenberg:

Who apparently caused this golden Jordan Staal expression, so we won’t question it. THUMPERSSSSSSSSSSS

MOST PCP TAKEN
Steiggy and possibly Kovalev. And definitely James Neal. Steiggy is all:
“BUT THIS IS A PITTSBURGH PENGUINS! WHEN’S THE NEXT TIME THE BOSTON BRUINS WON THE STANLEY CUP?”
Subsequently, James Neal destroys Zdeno Chara along the boards and gets the puck from him. Usually Chara gets by on size, but James Neal’s balls are too huge to accept that reality.
Then Kovalev floats a puck to Timmy’s glove from the parking lot of the Watertown Mall.
Period, basically.

MOMENT IN WHICH YOU STARTED MARCHING FOR THE HOLY LAND
The Pens’ work level all game was amazing, and James Neal almost scored on the power play. You could feel the Pens getting that first goal. But then Chara just kind of floated into the slot area and scored. It was a grave injustice and you practically called on the Children’s Crusade. No, actually, this is some fucking Wendish Crusade shit.

Wait, what’s that? Cooke made a desperation play to clear the puck as the Bruins were cycling like vultures? Jordan Staal and Tyler Kennedy have a 2-on-1?

Timmy cannot cross the sea of Galilee. We’re in business, bitches. Oh and it was Chara who looked like he couldn’t even process that he was supposed to be breaking up passing lanes on that play.
1-1

OFFICIAL MESSAGE OF FORGIVENESS TO DUSTIN JEFFREY
We kind of have to make it official now. Dustin Jeffrey is exempt from our tauntings and criticism of him as a polite human being. Because he knows how to get ahead.

Awesome plays to set that shit up, too.
Basically, the Pens’ work ethic this game was unbelievable.
That’s 2-1, and you might have had dreams, flights of fancy, that Curry hasn’t yet abandoned the Pens this season.
The third was even a good period, but there were little signs that something could go horribly wrong.
Kovalev missing the net.
Letestu hitting a post.
Multiple icings.
Pens not really being threatening on unlimited Bruins turnovers.
Neal shooting the puck wide.
It’s not that the Pens can’t hold this lead. It’s just that towards the end of games, there is a lot of pressure to prevent something bad from happening in a 1-goal game. And the Bruins actually have some of their top scoring forwards still healthy.
Jordan Staal, for whatever reason, passes the puck to Cooke when the Bruins are in an empty net situation, and Cooke waits 10 years to shoot it into some dude’s shin pad.
Seriously, he couldn’t have caused the quick up for the Bruins if he had placed that shot intentionally.
Bruins start yet another cycle off of that missed opportunity. For a team that slept through most of the second and had their faces peed on by Dustin Jeffrey, they had moments. Serious moments. At the 19:27 mark, you lose religion.

Let’s study this photo. First off, Mark Recchi’s alive in it. Second, Nathan Horton has always gone to the Tomas Holmstrom school of beauty. He’s just that good-looking.
2-2
:/

Nothing to say. Pens were so close to just getting 2 regulation points and going home for a nap.

OVERTIME THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CANCELLED WHILE DUSTIN JEFFREY BANGED ALL THE FINE BITCHES IN BOSTON
A bunch of whatev shifts start OT. Seidenberg tries to pass a puck up the middle to someone. Jeffrey is like “lol” and takes the puck. He doesn’t just dump it in, or take it wide, or even really seem to think much about what he is going to do. He takes the puck and just smokes Seidenberg. Seidenberg was totally confused. Utterly. No idea that a hockey game was even going on. And, Jeffrey just went for it. Completely unbelievable work ethic, again, not just on the part of the team, but on the part of the individual.

Moments before TK love-tackled Jeffrey into oblivion.
PENS WIN
3-2 OT
haaaaaaaaaaaa

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS

WE DON’T EVEN KNOW
chara
Zdeno Chara

APPARENTLY THERE WERE SOME FIGHTS

adams
every punch matters

ALTERNATIVE THREE STARS
1. DUSTIN JEFFREY – he wasn’t a real one?
2. ~~~DENNIS SEIDENBERG~~~ – uhhh, he was a real one?
3. Zbynek Michalek – for personifying defense.


don’t forsake your god.
do work.
knocking on even higher standing in the Eastern Conference, somehow.

Go Pens.

Zoë

About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. every Penguins season is like Amundsen vs. Scott in my head.

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