marry fuck or kill: CBJ edition

Hair League updates will soon follow. We’re still reeling from the utter and complete loss of Gene. Here’s that illustration again, just to get you upset:

Letestu had surgery. Still six weeks on him at least. Sid? No clue. We’re on borrowed time right now. We will have to grind out Every Single Thing.


With these heavy thoughts in your heart, why don’t you complete the Marry, Fuck, or Kill for tomorrow’s opponent:



JAKUB VORACEK
This international man of mystery isn’t good looking. Even we would not try to argue that. But, he’s Jakub Voracek. He’s clearly hilarious. Take this example we found here:

The father of Columbus Blue Jackets forward Jakub Voracek caught a six-foot-five-inch hammerhead shark on Wednesday near Miami, according to the Columbus Dispatch. While the Shark was tossed back, Voracek’s father has video and pictures to prove it. “I’ve seen the picture,” Voracek told the newspaper. “It’s uglier than me.”

First off we’re happy he’s learned English. Second, isn’t someone that self-aware just so lovable?


DEREK DORSETT
Is a man.


ROSTISLAV KLESLA
His name is Rostislav. He is a Czech defenseman. He is awkward and would probably buy you flowers.

LADIES, MAKE YOUR PICKS. And gentlemen.

This coming hockey is not for the faint of heart.
Go Pens.

Zoë

About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. every Penguins season is like Amundsen vs. Scott in my head.

Quantcast