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oh holy tits people

Rejean probably spent the morning tending to his theoretical trigger finger. That poised, calm hand of his picked up some phones today and got to work. We’re familiar with shopping, but what we mean is we go to Target or Gabe’s and make an impulse buy, or find the best apartment in town for the cheapest price, or know when we have found a decent price for upper bowl seats at bull riding.
Ray Shero? Somehow acquires James Neal and Matt Niskanen for Alex Fucking Goligoski.


Oh Alex oh Alex oh Alex. Even better defense and more points production wouldn’t have saved you, probably. The Pens are in dire, dire need of more offense, and wingers who know how to make points happen are way more important than a d-man who is a beautiful skater, but has yet to achieve the confidence to run an attack from the blueline and pick his shot with care. See: Kris Letang, who will basically be Jesus once he remembers how to hit the net.

BUT ON TO WHAT WE GET:

James Neal is a LW with 21 goals this season. Bring it.


Matt Niskanen won’t bring Goligoski’s scoring touch or anything, but he’s pretty solid back there. On a Dallas team that is in the playoff mix but has allowed way too many goals to be truly viable, he’s only a -1.
We’re basically giving him credit that he knows where he is supposed to be. Ktang and PaulMart on the PP is not a bad option. We haven’t lost any significant amount of offense, and we’ve gained a more physical player.
We’ll see what happens.

We wish Goose all the best and we miss him already.
The crying will commence once we remember what reality is.

Welcome to James and Matt. We’ll be getting intimate with you shortly.
Go Pens.

Zoë

About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. every Penguins season is like Amundsen vs. Scott in my head.

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