oh is this even real

You already know that the Pens won. But the hockey gods are coming through with other information. . .

Our good friends (j/k) the Buffalo Sabres beat Tampa in regulation 4-2. Even a fight from Everyone’s Favorite Ryan Malone couldn’t cajole them into winning ways. Brother Steven, Midgets, Circus Freaks, etc., skated away crying.
Result: the Pens are still hanging on to fourth seed. kk

The Sens took on Philly in Ottawa and beat them 5-2 with goals from people you’ve never heard of and/or usually want to face-stomp. The Flyers also have a player named Ben Holmstrom. No relation to Tomas. Still, cursed from birth with the worst last name of all time:

Result: the Pens move within 1 point of the division lead with the Pens having 2 games remaining, and the Flyers having 3.

The Caps hung on to beat Toronto in a shootout.

Result: There is no such thing as leadership and God hates America.

My personal wishlist for Friday? That the Pens dress Engelland and Johnson and don’t die. Getting the 2 points is paramount. But being a badass will help.

P.S. PK Subban is rubbing his balls all over America with some OT win in Minnesota. Do you ever want to play the Habs in the playoffs again? Answer: no. Whatever.

There is no broadcast or feed of the legendery Shirts Off Our Backs night at CEC this evening because Versus hates you and everything you stand for.
Maybe there will be photos we can take to bed with us.

~~go Pens


About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. Writing about the Penguins, the CWHL/women's hockey, and hockey/sports media criticism.