the kid on the short bus who licks the windows

OMG we’re still in 4th

I actually forget pretty often that we’re still sitting on home ice advantage.
With 6 weeks left in the season, I probs just jinxed that though.
Sorry.

But srsly, we are actually still in 4th.
I feel like NHL hockey has been bad touching me ever since Sid hit IR, yet in reality, we have held shit together.
TSN talked a bit about how awesome we are, it went something like this:
“How have the Penguins stayed up there without Crosby and Malkin”
Panel’s Answer: “Work Ethic”
Fuck Yeah

All of our flash and sparkles are on IR with our superstars, but we’re still one of the best teams in the league because we are working our asses off.
This is a blue collar team and I’m really proud of that.
Take comfort in our amazingness.

Also in the return of Martin and Kennedy. Which is huge.
huge20freaking20cat
HUGE

Toronto was playing on home ice, which means serious effort from the press.
dramatic
DRAMATIC
There is a slim chance the Leafs will make the REAL season. There might be something more important than that, but if so, Toronto has no idea what it could possibly be.

BEST FORM OF INDUCTION
Matt Niskanen is official in with us. He is so in that I even went and checked to make sure I spelled his name right.  Early in the 1st period, rifles it from the blue line to earn his first goal as a Pen.
Oh, baby.
nisk but really im looking at lovejoy
Good boy. You’re still our automatic scapegoat, but keep it up none the less.

1-0 Pens

NO ONE CARES THAT THIS HAPPENED
kulemin
I think Kulemin is probably one of those guys that wears his pants so far below his ass that he has to walk with his legs spread just to keep them from falling off. He probably also cruises for dames in his mom’s minivan.
THAT’s what I think of you, sir.

1-1

WE ARE DEEPER THAN DEEPAK CHOPRA
This shit storm they call 2011 does have a silver lining. Young guys who wouldn’t get these opportunities are being tested, trial by fire style. It’s given guys like Conner the chance to step up and fill some fucking huge shoes. Of course, most shoes would be huge for Conner.
how are you so small
HOW ARE YOU SO SMALL

I’m always impressed with guys who can come into this league listed at 5’8″ (so probably 5’7″, 5’6″…) and hold their own against giants like Phaneuf.
phaneuf giant
giant

To be fair, Conner didn’t just hold his own. He protected the puck and out skated Phaneuf (who was at the end of a long shift, but shut the fuck up) and did THIS:
conner is tiny goal
I’m going to call him Tiny Tim from now until forever, or until I forget I’m calling him that.
Honourable mention to Niskanen who provided the stretch pass that made this possible.

2-1 Pens

THE KID ON THE SHORT BUS WHO LICKS THE WINDOWS

I guess 8 goals in 8 games is a big deal, but all I saw was a shear luck deflection. Some call it “being in the right place”. I call it “being a solid thing that the puck can hit”. A wheel of cheese could have done that same job.

2-2

NOT EXACTLY THE SAME AS LAST TIME
As we go to OT, I’m hoping for a similar performance to last game. I was looking for something like this:
sad face conner goal

But instead…
tang searching for god
God IS up there, Tang. So go drown your sorrows in some Herbal Essence conditioner. Tomorrow is a new day.

Props to Phaneuf who pulled off an impressive end to end rush to make that OT goal happen. Credit where it’s due.

3-2
PENS LOSE

ALT STARS / THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR

1. JSTAAL:
staal is terrifing

 – went 61% on faceoffs tonight
 – is featured on this month’s Official Penguins Desktop Wallpaper!
 – swallowed 29 minutes of ice time against San Jose last week
- is terrifying

2. MAF
ninja maf 
- appears to be a ninja (No srsly, look at that photo. NINJA)
 – shut Grabovski down over and over again
evidence:
grab gets shut down
 – is 4th in the league for wins. All things considered, that’s awesome
 – continually saves lives

3. Factoid: Max Tal and Rupp have more in common than just the powerful man fur that covers their faces. Both have scored a cup winning goal in game 7 of the SCF. (Rupp was 2003 with the Debs)

New Jersey Devils, Friday

I know, Jersday would be more appropriate, but this way you don’t have to miss Jersey Shore to watch the game.
Notice how I’m not judging you for watching Jersey Shore? That’s how much I love you guys.

GO PENS!!!

UPDATE:
Gillies is a champ.
In his first game back from the 9 game suspension he incurred for the shenanigans of our Isles match up, Gillies lays hands on the Clutterstache.
Clear targeting of the head.

Here is Cal getting elbowed in the head.

Scary/stupid fuck.
I’m sure we’ll hear about the suspension in the morning.

I don’t know why I can’t embed video. It’s just all gone. My body is dismembered from my mind.

Goodnight, kiddies. See you in the sandbox.

 

Quantcast