I. Intros are for suckas.
1. But still seen as necessary in some internet societies.
2. Like a literary overture
a. themes will continue throughout post.
b. this letter bullet is necessary if I want to have an “a” point.
3. Often tells readers whether or not writer will be “phoning it in.”
a. such as right now.
b. why can’t a lettered bullet just stand alone, you fascists.
II. Intense hatred has, historically, led to fists being flung.
1. Goalie fights are the best.
a. however rare.
b. display true beauty.
2. Some fighting styles are lame.
a. the “bear hug” tactic.
b. romantic dancing style.
3. Tyler Kennedy and Sean Avery are amazing together.
a. we can’t say there was a specific winner.
b. TK won our hearts.
c. shit yes, two fights in as many minutes.
IV. Sidney Crosby is an inspiration.
1. He and James Neal are probably in love.
2. Perfect feed from Sid lets Neal land it in the back of the net.
a. hellz yeah.
b. lookin’ good, Jimmy.
3. I’d let him or James Neal escort me to prom.
a. whaddya say?
b. may we call you Jimmy, sir?
VI. Worst second period.
1. Worse than second period swim class.
a. you smell like chlorine all day.
b. no time to dry hair before chem.
c. Jimmy will never take me to prom now.
2. Fat jokes are therapeutic.
a. Callahan cries into twinkies (1-1)
b. Mitchell rolls around in oreos. (1-2)
c. Richards really is fat. (1-3)
d. Gaborik sweats pure lard. (1-4)
e. let’s tease them until they get eating disorders.
3. Sobbing into your wine and vodka mixture is okay sometimes.
a. cake flavored vodka is gross.
b. marshmallow is okay.
VII. IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
b. that’s all I know of the song.
c. outlining is balls, when is lunch?
VIII. Nothing ever gets better.
1. James Neal and Geno try to take the pain away. (2-4)
2. The third period stings a lot less in some ways.
a. in others, it gives us just enough hope to feel let down.
b. we won’t hold that against Dupes. (3-4)
IX. Never losing again.
2. Winning the Cup.
b. haters gonna hate.
3. Go Pens.