We have been very lazy and bad lately but we have been watching hockey. Everything is interesting and frightening at the same time. It seems like nothing has stopped even with the Penguins out of the playoffs. We’d like to present to you, today:
THE CLASSY PLAYER AWARDS
MAY 11, 2011
First, we will bring you the LEAST CLASSY PLAYER:
Placing first is whatever young lady is taking photos of Patrick Kane while he is asleep, as much as we are tempted to give the award to Patrick Kane himself.
Alcohol is a tricky substance that can fool some people into believing that Club Trash isn’t Club Trash. We’re sure Patrick probably doesn’t care all that much, considering that contraption he is wearing as a necklace, but bad decisions are bad decisions and we’re sure he is very embarrassed and crying into his Proactiv, on the phone with his momma all like DON’T GO ON THE INTERNET. DON’T GO ON THE INTERNET. He didn’t do anything embarrassing, other than sleep with a “lady.”
We assume the “lady” has a fake tan and shops at amiclubwear.com, but she did exactly what we would have done, up until a point. If you see the dude you like, and you are available, and he plays hockey, and he seems into you, and you are okay with it maybe only being a one-time thing. . .whatever. Letting the photos get on the Internet was probably intentional though, and we don’t wanna be the skank who twitpics things like that. Sooo. Girl who slept with Patrick Kane is today’s Least Classy Player.
CLASSY PLAYER AWARD OF THE DAY GOES TO:
Jaromir Jagr, who scored a hat trick for the Czech Republic today. It eliminated the USA from the IIHF World Championships but. . .it was Jaromir Jagr. Can we even be mad?
He is also meeting with Ray Shero today to discuss coming back to play in a charity golf tourney with the 1991 Cup team. Everyone is having the same wet dream that he is going to put a Pens uni on and cause uterus-related hysteria much like Alexei Kovalev did, except score some more goals, but this has neither been confirmed nor denied.
How about that power play the Czechs ran though?
Jaromir is today’s Classy Player.
It is a beautiful day.