we can’t choke it down

. . .you know, like dicks.

Sorry. No. In all seriousness. Most people thought this series would go to seven anyway.
Going up 3-1 and having two consecutive chances to put the Lightning away is more than we might have asked for, considering the depleted offense and stellar defense that for some reason takes drugs every now and then and looks ridiculous and asleep.
But, we don’t hate. We believe in the integrity of this team to band together and win games. So much of the battle in hockey, in any sport, especially in a 7-game elimination series, is mental. Pens didn’t show up mentally, sparking nine thousand (approx.) conspiracy theories and “reasons” (note the quotes) presented by dicktouchers on Twitter. ~*~*~* AFTERNOON GAME *~*~**~**~*~*******. Pens defense was weak. Chances weren’t capitalized on early in the game. Brother Steven called the LDS Church and they prayed up some favors to Utah Jesus. Shut the fuck up.

Every game is do or die, every game should be treated as one that you either win or go home. Tampa forcing a game 7 from their home gives them all the momentum in the world. They are already cocky as all hell. They had their top power play unit on the ice time after time, regardless of how many goals they were ahead. They capitalized on every quality chance they had, it seemed. Our wins aren’t going to be pretty, but we can do the same thing. A lot of growing up to do between now and Monday.

We’re going to pull a Pens Report and just post music that we think is helpful, like we did last season, except it’s generally allowed for us to do this since we don’t get paid by the Penguins to blog about the Penguins or provide timely, relevant hockey information.

Cursed, going on the road, ain’t nothing funny anymore.

Sorry for fake!cap. No stage play could do this justice.
Inspirational somethingorother to come shortly.
Washington could very well become the second team to advance, so put your eyes on that and become the biggest Rangers fan ever.
Or not. Whatever.
Take on all the guilt.
Today, we were bitches. Tomorrow can be different.
go pens.

battle hasn’t even begun when it gets like this.


About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. Writing about the Penguins, the CWHL/women's hockey, and hockey/sports media criticism.