we hunt failure; we find it where it sleeps

Kim is back in the Known World and is starting to absorb the changes that have come to pass. Namely, the departure of Max Talbot. We felt that a unique portion of our lives had been seized from us. Our outlets for bad taste, shitty/disappointing fantasy dates, and Sunday scotch had been wrested from us in the heat of an ungodly summer.
Well, until we realized that there’s someone else out there who is just as bad at life.

Some snippets from our musing on the matter of Mike Green:
“Wholesome enough to take you to dinner but not wholesome enough to not send you ambiguous texts” – Zoë
“I imagine he texts with horrible abbreviations. i want2 c u 2nite but im confused about it” – Kim

And thus was born our own fantasy date with Mike Green:

10:03:17 PM Kim: Then he calls you, that night
10:03:27 PM Zoë: “where are you?” he says
10:03:31 PM Zoë: “can i come over”
10:03:50 PM Kim: “I left the bar early….so I can see you…”
10:04:12 PM Kim: But then he gets to your apartment and acts ambivalent.
10:04:31 PM Kim: Watches half an episode of law and order, acts awkward, drinks your milk
10:04:34 PM Kim: Doesn’t have sex with you

You are welcome to alter this evening as you see fit.

We know, we know. It’s a long summer.

If you need proof of the link, look no further:

Douchey facial hair! He even surpasses Talbo because he has the technical skills to take and post photos of himself on the Internet. Not eve ADHD or a vague, directionless need for attention and love. Intentional douche-ness. He wins all the prizes.

Here’s to being more excited than usual to beat the Caps and the Flyers.

Also, to make this post Penguins-related, this comes up on the Google machine when you search James Neal:

And now you know.

Go Pens.


About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. Writing about the Penguins, the CWHL/women's hockey, and hockey/sports media criticism.