superstar_maf

hockey day in america

Hello, friends.

It is “Hockey Day in America” which, as far as I can tell, is an excuse for NBC Sports to come up with soft-focus features about the awesomeness of hockey.

Now we all know that hockey is great; that’s why we read blogs like this and park ourselves on the couch at 12:30 PM on a Sunday afternoon. We don’t need a TV network to tell us this.

Big ups to James Neal, who we already love beyond reason or complrehension, but who also got a 6-year contract extension today. Well done, sir. Well done.

Also: dear shop.nhl.com, stop pushing fans to make their very own Jersey Fouls. I think we’ve got that category handled all on our own without you pushing it on us.

MOMENT WHEN YOU GIRDED YOUR LOINS

Jason Pominville scores on Beej less than a minute into the game. “Oh no,” you thought. “Not another one of these. Why does it have to be like this?”

 Steve Sullivan is dismayed. Wouldn't you be, too?

Steve Sullivan’s face conveys what we’re all thinking

Derek Roy joins the party by proving that anyone can score on Beej at the moment. I’m not hating on Beej or anything, because I really love him and I want him to succeed, but he is having Issues.

FIRST “OH HONEY NO” MOMENT

Matt Niskanen demonstrates poor decision-making skills by not only flailing and letting the defense down, but also taking the game’s first penalty. Not that it matters too much, because we don’t entirely suck when we’re short-handed, but still.

MOMENT OF MIXED EMOTIONS

Buffalo scores again early in the second period to chase Beej from the net. 

This is a man who needs a hug

I don’t have a witty caption for this photo, because it is too depressing

Allthough I love MAF, I want to see Johnson do better – I’m not sure how this will be accomplished, though.

MOST WINGS EATEN

Deryk Engelland eats all of Buffalo’s wings by coming back and scoring to make this slightly less embarrassing.

I think Engo might have shared the wings with the rest of the team, as they are starting to look slightly better. It’s like the guys said, “You know what goes great with wings? Awesome hockey skills!”

MOMENT THAT MADE YOU GO “WTF”

However, Nathan Gerbe comes back as part of a two-on-one, forces MAF to commit to one side, then throws the puck at a wide-open net…and it goes straight off the goalpost.

CLANG

SECOND “WTF” MOMENT

Kunitz apparently threw his stick at Patrick Kaleta, resulting in a penalty shot? I don’t even know how that is a Thing. And I am not looking it up.

It doesn’t matter anyway, no one is as good as MAF in shootout-type situations.

Get used to seeing this, everyone else in the NHL

MOMENT OF CRUSHING DESPAIR

JStaal tries to bring things back by scoring on Ryan Miller, but Drew Stafford, from behind the net, banks the puck off of MAF’s head. Ugh.

CONTINUING MOMENT OF CRUSHING DESPAIR

Make the pain stop

Oh, the humanity

ALT THREE STARS

1. The goalpost
2. Engo, for scoring and for eating all the wings
3. Awesome reader and sometime guest-poster K, who finally got to meet Jaromir Jagr today and realized one of her life-long dreams

Up next: the Rangers. Save us, Curry, you’re our only hope.

Go Pens.

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