rejoice_letang

russian perfection and floppy-haired excellence

Hello, friends.

It feels like it’s been forever since we talked.

I hope you had a pleasant winter holiday and that your return to school and/or work was not entirely traumatic.

For my part, I just handled a personal crisis that required the purchase of hideous (yet comfortable) brown clogs that I will be wearing for at least the next six weeks.

Enough of my non-problems. Let’s get to some hockey, shall we?

PREGAME SHENANIGANS

I, for one, am looking forward to much more of this

I will also be skipping the Staal Brothers Drinking Game this evening. For one, JStaal is still out; for two, I got some blood work done recently and the results show that I am no longer allowed to drink quite so many beers. Because I am old.

But if you wish to partake, we will never judge you.
We live in a zone that is free of judgment about our readers’ lifestyle choices and full of judgment about opposing fans’ lifestyle choices.

FIRST PERIOD

One thing I have not missed is ROOT’s crappy camera angles. What is so difficult about showing us the game from the wide side angle? Why would you cut into a corner shot when Orpik’s playing the puck behind the net?

I am a curmudgeon.

Fedotenko misses a huge opportunity, which turns into a ridiculous Penguins rush, and results in a pretty fantastic goal by Chris Kunitz. Pens lead 1-0

Steiggy and Errey engage in some hand-wringing about Lovejoy being a healthy scratch. Honestly, I am just glad to live in a world where there is the possibility of the Penguins actually making healthy scratches, instead of bleeding profusely and calling up so many guys from Wilkes-Barre that they are going to have to start dipping into the Nailers’ roster.

I am momentarily distracted as the husband comes home and starts to angrily shovel the driveway. I come back to the game as Tangradi and Stu Bickel commence fighting, although Bickel seems to get the best of the Big Dog in this particular bout.

Some more shoving results in both Boyle and Michalek being penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct.

The Rangers get some good chances, but Fleury continues to be awesome. Haters to the left.

SECOND PERIOD

I took a brief interlude to cook dinner, but when I came back, nothing was different. I suspect I’ve missed more Letang-style excellence and good chances that the Pens have failed to convert into actual goals.

Unfortunately, I have finished cooking in time to see Carl Hagelin covert a terrible Penguins turnover into a goal. And a soft goal, to boot. 1-1 tie

HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS I TOTALLY JUST SAW TK PASS THE PUCK

This second period is a lot like other second periods we have seen recently, in that there are some decent chances and big saves, but no goals.

THIRD PERIOD

Best Vacation Spot goes to Richard Park, who capitalized on a 3 on 1 to stuff the puck in from the left wing. I want to visit Richard Park for an extended stay. 2-1 Pens

“OH MY FUCKING JESUS” – Zoë on Malkin’s goal. 3-1 Pens

I will make many goal

Top #1 Russian

Now this is more like it. This, my friends, is what we’ve been waiting for.

FINAL SCORE: 4-1 PENS

NEVER LOSING AGAIN

Go Pens.

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