first things first i’ll eat your brains.

Facing the Flyers is always the opportunity to experience freely horrible sportsmanship. If you win, ahahaha, hilarious! The Flyers! What a buncha idiots! If you lose, whatever, shut up, thugs, you live in a dying city, go get mugged, and also as a side note, you are fat.
We don't make it a secret that we don't actually despise the Flyers. There are more worthy villains out there, and I have a soft spot for Philly because I lived there for an extended period of time. 
But really, feeling less-than-vehement-hatred for them makes the bad sportsmanship more fun. Because we can't get mad when they do it back at us.
What we're saying is: YO PHILLY, FUCK YOUR MOTHER. aaaahahaha. 

*ahem* awards now. 

WORST HOSTAGE SITUATION
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Chances are if you've been around the block a few times with us, you know we adore Mr. Mason. And Max…well…it's complicated. But this picture burns us like Steve Mason does a prostitute…or some other lazy joke. We are too busy crying to be clever.

MOST AUDIBLE IN-HEAD ENTRANCE SONG
Malks draws an early call on Giroux for hooking. Of course he does. Sorry, every time we see this:
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we hear this?
Mostly Malkin is singing the Nicki Minaj part under his breath as he is endlessly wonderful. Maybe it is just us, but that's okay.
The Monster part remains unquestioned. 

The Flyers kill it, and follow it up by killing the next penalty they get for being petulant little children as well. We get one to prove we can do it too. Killed.

MOMENT YOU HAD TO BLAME THE DOG FOR PEEING ON YOU
That's super gross, actually, but when Fleury does this shit what the hell are you SUPPOSED to blame?  He makes two saves back-to-back that make you re-question your life philosophy and his fucking groin flexibility I mean srsly what is MAF even.
No pics of the split have surfaced yet, so let's just pick a random moment with MAF in it. This'll do:
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Yay!

The score is even heading into the second with a snakebit PP. 

THE MOMENT SCORING FINALLY HAPPENED AND THEN TOO MUCH HAPPENED BUT IT'S ALL GOOD NO SRSLY KEEP GOING

We get way far into the second and get way too many chances before Jussi finally gets one home.
imageSome really good faces there guys.
OH WAIT OH MY GOD AND NOW before you can even re-situate yourself Kunitz makes it 2-0 with a sweet rebound. Insert joke about cheesesteaks seriously we can't.

WEIRDEST
The shots are 17-3 in this period which is too much of a joke itself. But MAF takes a penalty because, you know, that happens all the goddamn time. Just. Daily. 
Flyers finally capitalize.
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That puts us in the third 2-1. Whatevs. The Flyers have looked like a joke all game.

NEXT TIME SOMETHING OF ANY ACTUAL VALUE OCCURED
tbqh
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lol honestly this picture tells the story of this whole stupid game. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE FLYERS I MEAN WHERE ARE THEY CAN SOMEONE GET THEM ON THE PHONE AND LET THEM KNOW IT ISN'T AUGUST AND THEY CAN WIPE THE MUSTARD OFF THEIR STUPID FAT FACES AND GET BACK HERE ALREADY.

*ahem*

Malkin's empty netter stitches it up.

Pens win.

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS

COOLEST KID
Has anyone noticed that T.Glass is like novelty tights with images from childhood cartoons? Which is girl for saying "fucking awesome, gimme gimme." 

ALT THREE STARS
MAF- Deserves the double star
Max Talbot – lololololol
Steve. Not Mason, just Steve the cat. He won't leave me alone so I am giving him a star.image

He's handsome he can stay. 

WOOOOOO THE FLYERS SUCK

WOOOO PHUCK PHILLY

WOOOOO

Go Pens!
 

Kim

About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.

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