woot

friday night panthers, aka, what’s in YOUR liquor cabinet?

Oh hey there.
It's Friday night and we're playing the Panthers.
We're just going to go ahead and get drunk, if no one minds too much. We assume you're going to do the same.
Zoe is still stuck on a bus somewhere in Boston, but she'll be joining soon. 
Drunkblogging 2013. 
BRING IT, PANTHERS. 

Stay tuned for new developments. 

7:02 PM
(Pre-game)
Has anyone else noticed that the Jumbotron video for this season makes it look like Pittsburgh just discovered cyberpunk? It's like we've finally moved on to the late 90s. 

7:09
Puck finally drops. 
Kovy on a 4th line feels like treason.

"The Alien" is almost certainly a more appropriate nickname for Bryz. Give it up Markstrom.

7:19
Zoe is here now. She got in just in time to see us throwing pucks at the net like we were bailing out a sinking ship. James Neal is a MAN. 
I accidentally ate so much habanero that I cried a little and now have the hiccups. 
There's a good back and forth on the ice.
Calming the hiccups with gin.

7:22
First PP of the game.
It's not going as well as we'd hope. As in, no one is dead and we do not have a goal yet.
Great chance for a garbage goal off a Malkin rebound, but Markstrom says no. 
Fun fact: TK loves horses as well as ponies.
Nothin' from the PP.
Blah.

7:26
OH GREAT. First PK. First blood still up for grabs. 
DON'T LET IT HAPPEN, GUYS. 
Steiggy calls Beau (BoBo from here on out) "elegant."

7:32
Sorry, we got distracted talking about Kim's childhood collie BoBo.
They didn't let it happen.

7:35
All of the boys teaching BoBo is adorable. 
Mueller is in the box for trippin'. 
Another PP. OH MY GOD CAN SOMETHING PLEASE HAPPEN.

Zoe:
omg "there's nobody that he dominates more than weiss." filthy.

Nothing happens in the PP, but Nisky has a great shot. We think his mustache is giving him a lot of power.

7:41
The period finishes up, no score.

7:59
Oh hey, hockey is back.

8:06
JESUS LORD, BOBO, THAT WAS SEXUAL.
He just swooped in front of the net like…some kind of….sexual bird . 
My GOD. That was beautiful.
How we wish he'd scored.

8:09
What a fucking shift. Seriously. 
The Panthers acted like MAF would care about some things but he just didn't. 

8:10
This song is relevant. 
"Look at all of Beau's hoes, lookin' for a ride on Beau's hose."

8:14
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

8:15
Well, the Panthers may pretend that they can have a goal, but we're on our third PP of the game.
Statistically, it would be pretty weird if we didn't tie it up.
But, you know, god IS dead. 
We really need to get that guy resurrected some time this season.

8:18
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Malkin's pass to Neal gets jammed in by Kunitz. Total garbage, absolutely wonderful.
Tie game. Kunitz catches some guff. His pretty face is almost hurt.
We will hunt you down and fucking murder you if you even think about it, Panthers. You aren't worth the chipping paint on your vacant arena seats, letalone a beautiful Penguins face.

8:26
we love that danny p asks who he should interview at intermission on twitter now.
He has such a beautiful soul.

8:29
My husband is having a mental breakdown because I'm not paying attention to him or something.
Not my fault he can't love hockey more.
Not my fault he can't be Brandon Sutter.
I told him these things. It didn't seem to help.
Also, jesus christ, what a chance. Kunitz is just tearing it up. 

8:35
2nd period ends. Score's 1-1.
We just had this exchange:
Kim: they are like the poop coated vampires of the vegetable world.
Zoe: 
are there a lot of poop coated vampires in the regular world?
Kim: I mean, I imagine.

Drinking is good for your brain.

8:49
 zoe:  lovey-drunk, like everything is amazing
thank god, she was taking forever.

8:55
I couldn't find the tab to update, but hockey is here again, and the president is in the box. 
Treason.

MAF acts amazing.
In response, here is this total Flekoun (slash pair names still being accepted) pic from today.

9:00
Jesus christ, are we pretending that Malkin doesn't have a concussion?
If he doesn't, it's proof that he is a Russian Cyborg. 
He went down the runway after getting the grossest looking whiplash on the boards. A fight happened or something, but we were too worried about Gene to care.

9:02
These refs suck ass. But hey, we're on the PP!

9:04
Tanger, wash that hurr. The grease is weighing you down.

9:05
asd;kfjhasdgfadskjfasdljfhasdkjfhasdf
60 foot slapper. Moustache power. Nisky, you are my heart and soul.
2-1

9:08
We're both really drunk.

 zoe:  i need a code word
kim: moustache
Wait, for what
 zoe:  to know that my name is not my name
 

9:19
Dickmouth scores?!?!?!?!
We love it!
We also got a TK/DJ hug, which rocked.
3-1
BTW, Dustin Jefferey is a dick. But as long as he's scoring goals for us, he can hang out.

9:23

kimSid's hair is getting a little crazy
 zoe:  maybe he thinks he's letang
 kim:  He fancies himself a lady's man
hahahahahahahahah
ahahahahaha
 zoe:  ahahahaha

9:27
empty net, whatwhat
Let MAF get it.

totes would deserve it

 

9:31
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's a game.
3-1, Pens win.

 

We're gonna go keep drinking. "
You should do the same
We love you all, we hope you had fun tonight.
Get well, Evs.
And of course,
GO PENS.

Kim

About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.

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