as a reminder, we don’t give awards in the playoffs. There’s one bigger award everyone has to worry about. We don’t want to detract from actual glory.
You know that feeling you get, when you are at just that right height in the air in an airplane, and it’s nighttime, and all of the lights beneath you are pulsating frantically like living creatures in a hopeless dark ocean?
The playoffs are just like that and you don’t really quite feel the intensity of that, the senseless floating in the vastness of Everything, shrouded in the most delicate little lights, until it’s a little bit too late?
This was really just some kind of thought experiment, right? We didn’t actually do this? After the leaden, soul-crushing nature of the West games we watched yesterday, I can’t be sure that this follows the emotional arc of the universe. Rest assured, we will suffer this playoff season, in one way or another. Tonight is not representative of all. The gently pulsating lights are not always your friend.
The Pens got an early power play and Beau Bennett totally smoked Nabokov:
Then it was Dupuis after Adams mixed it up with Nabby in the high slot.
Up 2-0 after the first period, you’d think the Pens would probably sit back a bit. but it’s also the playoffs, and it’s also the Islanders, and it’s also the Penguins.
The Islanders also got themselves into penalty trouble early in the second. Letang had a one-timer from the point that was deceptive, quiet, and deadly. We’ll ignore the fact that ROOT Sports said that the ladies would have to be “easy” i.e. restrain themselves for a Letang intermission interview. Puh-lease. The hair is long and dramatic and apparently fathered a child but we have dignity. Also Joey V is in the press box so the general vaginas in the immediate vicinity are safe, amirite.
oh right there was a goal:
Ah yeah. Apparently we broke Nabby. Also Neal hasn’t been back–I totally forget when exactly he was hurt but it was at some point in the middle of the second period, right?
Yep looks like that Kazakh needs some tuneup. That’ll be our standard $100/hour service fee and one Kevin Poulin.
Not a great deal is honestly happening. Tanner Glass was along the wall just hanging out and put a puck towards Poulin because he could, and it went in.
Oh so it’s 5-0. We really weren’t expecting this. We realize this feeling is not actually safe, that we could simply drown under the weight of our own hearts.
But yeah, we scored five goals, and the Isles really obviously didn’t have five goals to answer with. And one of those goals was Tanner Glass. Also MAF was in everyone’s faces.
What’s surprising is that the Islanders haven’t actually tried to kill anyone yet. Might have to wait til game 3 for that to happen.
John Tavares is mad, btw.
It’s weird because I remember the day that Tavares was drafted and I remember him playing against the Pens and I just don’t remember him doing much of anything and I always think that this game is going to be the game he’s going to be a villain and score a hattie. He hasn’t yet. But he will. Keep an eye out. Check your tarot cards.
Marty Reasoner stuck his skate out maliciously in an attempt to take out Jokinen. Reasoner it looks like got a major penalty for being awful and a game misconduct. CONGRATULATIONS ISLANDERS.
Mario looks out on his kingdom:
This is one hell of a castle we have. But it’s just going to get harder to defend.
If anyone is seriously hurt, look out.
The playoffs are such a strange sensation. This is not at all like last year, at least, so we don’t need bear tranquilizers to deal with it.
It’s important to not get too excited. To not pollute the stream with words and promises we cannot keep. Still need to win three more of these bitches and they ain’t all gonna be 5-0.
Basically one of our main emotions throughout our lives.
Are you ready? Still?