like so much tinder.

This game has the potential to be the first important game of the series. Sid made game two look too easy to exist, and that makes us nervous and weird. A psychiatrist would have a field day with our ability to turn Good Things into anxiety, but that psychiatrist doesn't know shit about playoff hockey. Can we get PSAD (Post-Season Affective Disorder) added to the DSM?

The point is that Ottawa is gross and we only recently found out that they're also French-ish so that's a shock to our sheltered American systems. Why are we even here. 

Oh, right. To win. Let's hope we don't have to burn anything down.

The chances for both teams in the first two minute are terrifying and the play is fast and open. We are already confused and scared about what this game is trying to tell us. 

5 minutes in Mattie and Sutter get a good chance at the net but Anderson says No. Mattie's hustle was unreal. We dream of a game wherein he has 0 PMS and scores at least once. We also dream of gin raining from the skies. Let's see how it goes for us.

Ottawa gets a holding call because they aren't too interested in getting anywhere in this series. Iggy and Malkin try to be BFFS but just knock one another over. The Sens kill it with a minimal amount of trouble. We're not impress.  

It confuses us that Spezza is playing with Conacher because that doesn't seem like a 2-0 series going into Game 3 decision but idk maybe there is black magic involved. 

Vokoun is being the monster under your bed and in your closet and in your soul forever and ever. Anderson is keeping up.

You wish that went in. I wish that went in. We all dream of brighter tomorrows. 

Zach Smith is a chode. Just a statement of fact.

Malkin gets a rush that looks like Jesus Christ but the Sens can't stop being haters and trip him up. We are dying for a penalty shot, but we go into the 2nd with most of the power play left. 

Ktang celebrates the beginning of the second by getting a prolific pass to Sid, who is robbed by Anderson on his shot. Ottawa apologizes by getting a quick Too Much Man to give us the two man advantage. Malkin gets an amazing shot but Anderson, who is really standing on his head, says nope. NBC thinks it is a time to make a Charlie Sheen joke. No one is amused. They run it out to even strength. We are starting to get Agitated.

Zach Smith decides to get cute with Malks and goes to the bench for roughing.  A pane of glass has an existential crisis over the state of our special teams and simply explodes. We know the feeling. But we don't really have to worry about seeing it because Cowen clips himself with Sid's stick and that is obviously a reason for Sid to sit on the bench amirite. That is used up, but then of course there is another reason for us to be on the bench because adsfkjhasdkj. Karlsson gets an unsportsmanlike, though, which is pretty hilarious. 4-4 again. Someone remind me how many players are normally on the ice because I can't seem to recall. 

When we pretend for a few minutes like we're done with penalties, Koun really kills it with some huge saves. The Sens have too many solid chances. Death and dying. 

Finally, finally, finally Mattie Cooke makes it happen in front of the net, and TK is there to get it in. We'd have taken an ugly one, but it was surprisingly pretty.

The flow of the game picks up a little for the remaining moments in the second. We're hoping the mojo makes the jump into the third

The mojo doesn't really jump the gap, but Koun is on point so it's sort of okay. Koun makes a sick leg save on a shot that erryone thought was going in. Anderson keeps up his insanity too, and it's kind of fun to see the boys in both nets looking so solid. It adds an extra layer of horror and pain and gut wrenching nervousness, many of the emotions that make us love the playoffs. The game isn't pretty, but the net minding sure is.

The penalties calm down, which makes it more bearable but no not really because this entire game is terrifying. 

A little shy of 2 minutes left in the game and we go up on the PP. The Sens get the chance to pull Anderson and we know we're racing the clock the way the puck is flying around in our zone. In a realization of all your waking nightmares, the Sens manage to capitalize on a solid shift. Short handed to tie it up, right as the 3rd runs down.

Sid gets a nice chance in the final seconds, but Anderson does his thing. 

This OT is going to be a bitch.

The motherfucking OT starts with Malkin and Kunitz putting your heart directly into your throat. Anderson is officially outlawed in all offseason goalie picnics because wtf is this shit. We keeping throwing it and throwing it and throwing it at the net. We beg the question WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS TEAM ALL GAME? 

The Sens are not without some great chances themselves. Goalie v. Goalie, plus some Mark Eaton because he is seriously being unreal.

It keeps going and it won't end and Zoe is contemplating burning everything in her apartment and we are ripping our hair out and hrrrrr. Iggy misses a fat chance from Malks and our lives somehow get harder as if that was even a thing that could happen. The rage is coming.

NBC thinks it is important to focus their in-game reporting on the fact that Neal and Neil are spelled differently. Someone needs to die in a fire. First OT leaves with the final shreds of our souls.

Second OT, asdj.fnadsjf. The Pens get a PP, and the Sens do a sick job killing it. Even strength once again, Brooks loses his footing on a hit against Neil and Neil goes into the boards hard on his shoulder. He goes down the runway, his arm not moving much. Pens give a stick tap and our souls hurt because no one wants fatigue to end in injury. That's unfortunately the risk you run in games with multiple overtimes. The Sens go up on a PP shortly because no one wants our hearts to work anymore. We kill it.

The Sens get a great shift that we can't seem to clear and you feel that sick feeling in your stomach as the puck bounces every which way. You're holding your breath for ten solid seconds before the Sens finally capitalize. 


We're having a hard time being alive, but it's still a 2-1 series. Hopefully this was the kick in the ass we needed to calm it down in came 4.

Go to bed. Pens in 5.
Never losing again
Hope, faith, etc. 
Go Pens. 



About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.