The fuck. Sorry. Here was our post about that time we beat someone in the preseason. Then, afterwards, we beat someone else. In a god damn shootout. For the final game of the preseason, we will play Detroit again. Snoozefest. Maybe we can beat them in regulation. Maybe we’ll beat someone in regulation by Thanksgiving!! Joy.

Also, we’re whores. Here’s how to find out where to bet if you’re into betting on sports and possibly of the Canadian persuasion. We don’t bet that much because we’re poor but we might fantasize about having a brilliant premonition one of these days. You know. Like Fred and George at the Quidditch World Cup where they predicted that Ireland would win but Krum would get the Snitch. Seriously, that was risky.

Anyway, here’s that post:

This felt like a regular season game in many ways.  The Blackhawks had great movement on the power play, the Pens scored some goals from hard work, and, in classic Penguins fashion, blew a 3-1 lead and let the game go to shootout so Beau Bennett could steal our hearts.  This is a meaningless game, but. . .thank god for BeauBeau’s personal Save Our Asses Committee.  If things keep going the way we think they’re going, we’re going to need some clutch hands down the line.


Let’s examine the rest of this incident quickly:

  • Bort clocked PatKane and the ghost of his neckbeard into next week and had to fight someone after.  Honestly, he had a pretty good game and should be given a medal.
  • Despres looked anxious but wasn’t bad.  We really don’t think that handling Despres with silken hypoallergenic gloves is going to pay off in the long run.
  • Joe Vitale gave everyone triplets.
  • Brendan Mikkelson wears 24 now and it looks weird to us because Matt Cooke.  He played okay but I mean he’s not making it out of camp.  RIP 24.  The Lemonhead in the photo below looks ominous.  Possibly an omen in the tradition of Pepper.
  • Sid and Kunitz hooked up for a great goal which we could watch 54385903489 times.  Khabi got hung out to dry by his team somehow and Kunitz really fucking schooled him in that moment.  Sid wasn’t going to miss that shot, because it’s not the last playoff series.

Not sure what else to talk about.  We’re still at half a stock over here.  But slowly reaching a point of interest.  Slowly approaching our zenith.

Go pens, really.


About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. Writing about the Penguins, the CWHL/women's hockey, and hockey/sports media criticism.