"Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched."
You know. Maybe Mindy Kaling wasn't referring to a sweep in the ECF when she said that, but we can't be too sure she'd be upset that we used it that way. In fact, if we sat down and explained it to her, we think she might understand Just What We Are Talking About. Because when we leave the house tomorrow, prepared to face a summer alone, prepared to face golf charity events and mall visits and a long, long time without hockey…we're going to put our lip gloss on and pretend to be psyched. About everything. About the Future. About the summer, about next season, about Life As We Know It.
We're a girlblog and we can quote Mindy Kaling as much as we please. Suck it.
For the record, we specifically aren't going to mention contracts. We can't right now, we just can't. We will soon, we promise, because all of that deserves to be talked about and carefully considered. But right now is the time to retreat to the corner and lick our wounds and drink another glass of wine. Can we recommend box wine? It's gotten much classier in the past few years and produces fewer carbon emissions. Do Your Part. While forgetting.
It's been a rough season. As said, we felt like disapproving fathers this whole time. And Dads always know what's up. They always know when you're going to bring the tattooed boy 13 years older than you to the dinner table. Or the Asian girl (assuming you are a Jewish boy.)
We can blame the bane mask missing from Sid's face these past four games. And where was Dan's tie? And why didn't I listen to We Major before these games, like I did before all playoff games? But also, why was our leadership so abysmal? Where was the D? Why was our offense flagging? Why was our confidence so shaken? They tell us, in writing, not to list too many questions in a row, but a sweep in the playoffs demands it. There are many questions and not too many answers just yet because Emotions are still running high.
But. The sun will rise again over this great city. The Penguins live on. As we said, there is no death, only ruin. And we have faced that ruin, and we will rise again. Like a penguin from the flames. The ice? Idk. We're sad right now.
We'll be back with a season wrapup. Forgive us our shortness this evening – we have a lot of feelings and not enough words to fit them. We want you to know that we'll be okay. Not just we as in Zoe and Kim, but we as in all of us. The readers. The Pens fans. The world at large.
We'll be back. And everything will be amazing.
Never losing again.