zomg

we be bakin’

Adding to this streak would really just be like, icing on the life cake right about now.
It's been a long winter, but really, this streak has us breezin' through it. 
If you're thinking about the "but what about when…" shut up.
Never think those thoughts again.
I might be fevered, so stick with me through this. 

BEST HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA FIGHT
Tyler Kennedy, who is on a redemption rampage, goes AFTER Dumont for being a wang.
He has that sort of determination that you only see in a nerd fight in high school.


Seriously.
That came from some deep-down scary place.
The pony farm is fighting back against foreclosure, ya'all. 

MOST PATRIOTISM
If you tuned in at the wrong moment, you may accidentally think that MAF is carrying the team on his back.
Luckily, it's just spotty.
Our D's not totally horrible and MAF is picking up all dat slack. 

Mark Eaton, just when you were starting to forget about him, throws himself in the line of fire for God and Country. 
Definitely finding his footing on Penguins ice once more. 

The rest of the period slips buy unnoticed.


MOST SQUANDERED TWO MINUTES
We go on the PP early in the second and do a really horrible job of making it happen, starting with a pass to Neal that somehow made it to MAF first. How does that make sense. 
KTang got close with one he sailed over the net but unfortunately this ain't horseshoes. 

MOST MIND NUMBING
First, Mark Eaton gets a delay of game for bleeding when pricked with a pin. 
You are wondering wt-serious-f the refs are thinking, because it certainly is more along the lines of "I wonder if Val Kilmer will ever lose the weight" than "hey I should do my job and watch this game in some sort of critical fashion."
Luckily you don't have to sob about it too long, because you have to start chanting for a certain exotic flower.
Markov fired a nasty shot from the side, that would have gone into the net if MAF weren't a soothsayer. 
But he is, so, you know.

We run down the PK with no further incident. 

MOST APPROPRIATE TIME TO QUOTE LIZ LEMON

WHAT THE MOTHER EFFIN WHAT?!

So, you know Sidney Crosby. 
He does one of those Sid ™ things. 
And you can just feel the hearts of Habs fans breaking. Not because they are losing. Plenty of time left, so we can't say that. Not because we scored first. That's fixable.
But because they had to watch Sid do that while knowing, deep down, that they could never have him. 
They will never have Sidney.
It must be terrible to know that. 

Oh, P.S. MAF followed up Sid's goal with a sexy little number that dramatically kept the score in out favor.
MTL was two inches either way from a pretty amazing answer. 

MOST TEARS SHED
Craigsy gets set off the ice because he got an eye full o' puck. 
BE OKAY, CRAIGSY.

MOST ADVERSE TO GOOD WILL
Just when TK is starting to generate some good will for himself, he accidentally trips right into MAF's sacred, important, and beautiful head.

MAF spends some time making us sweat it. He looks kinda bad for a bit there.
Like a champ, he shakes it, and finishes up the 2nd. 
Hopefully his head is still good for standing on in the third.

MOST DASHED HOPE
Nope.
Hello, Vokoun. 
Drink lots of juiceboxes in the locker room, MAF. 
Get well immediately. 

MOST CONSECUTIVE NON-EVENTS
Mattie gets in the bin for roughing, which happened, and was hilarious and wonderful.
We kill it no prob.
Then we get our turn up.
They kill it with littleish problem. 
Some people could have scored, but didn't!
Dupes did get notably close, though.

BIGGEST SKATES FILLED
Vokoun really had his job cut out for him.
And oh man did he jump through that cutout Japanese game show style.

1-0
We finished up the baker's doze, ya'all.
 

INDIVIDUAL AWARD

That's the flu virus.
And he gets an award for stepping and telling all of you that' if I don't go to bed right now, many innocent lives will be changed forever. 

Lucky number 14, plz?
Go Pens.

 

Kim

About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.

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