sidanddupes

reemergence of the third period team (?!)

The Sens have been pretty awesome recently. As far as other teams go, they're pretty far up on our list of "least hated." If we were in Ottawa, we'd probably buy a puck with their logo on it or a t-shirt or something.
This may offend you. 
That's okay. We have something in common that makes it okay: believing deep down that the Pens are REALLY the only worthwhile hockey team. Everyone else is just filler. Good or bad filler, sure, but filler all the same.
In order to live up to expectations, all that has to happen at this game is for the bobble head of Malkin to look pretty okay, because that is ALL THAT ANYONE IS TALKING ABOUT.
Seriously guys.
Come on.

Let's do awards.

MOST PREDICTABLE
Tangradi got sent on over to the Jets today.
Zoe had a small party in honor of the moment. 
Maybe we should start a pool for when they will scratch him? We'll see you on Friday, fellah. We salute your attempted services. 

STRONGEST INNARDS
By some miracle the Sens don't get a penalty shot when Paul Martin molests Smith's skates with his stick as he goes in for a shot. They probably deserved it. Whatever, Dead God smiles upon us from his grave sometimes. Our PK looks okay – Cookie uses his body and soul to block a shot. We cough up a little blood at home just watching it. The penalty is killed, as are several of Cookie's internal organs, we're sure.

MOST MAGICAL
Our possession is pretty amazing for the first. We look good, we're just not hitting the net. Finally, finally, finally Sidney Crosby flips a puck that just so happens to levitate through Sens traffic, over a stick, and land delicately on Pascal Dupuis' stick – Pascal just accepts the magic for what it is and assists the puck into the net.  In Dupes's words, "it landed right on my blade." Unreal.

If someone tries to tell us that Sid hasn't sold his soul to pull of little miracles like this, we're going to slap them right in their stupid, clueless faces. 

WORST
Halfway through the second period a bunch of jackassery ends in tears and a 5-on-3 for the Sens. It looks pretty good in the way that we manage to clear it a few times. Then, just as the final seconds tick away, the Sens ruin our dreams and hit it in. Dicks. It's so close to the end of the PK that we're not sure if it's a PP goal or not. Well, past selves, it was.

Unfortunately, moments later, at even strength, a freak angle shot ends up going under MAF's knee.

Highlighted are all folks to whom we would like to say "our thoughts exactly." What the hell.


HUGEST ASSTON OF ASSISTS
Martin does a ton of amazing things in rapid succession, which include drawing a penalty and then creating a wide open stage for Neal to perform on.

Sid on the secondary with his 400th career assist.

HARDEST MOMENT TO WATCH
Cookies skate hits Karlsson's heel during a hit. Karlson went down, and yelled out in pain the moment he tried to put weight on it. Ya gotta wince at something like that. We don't care if it's love or hate, we never want to see someone injured (unless it's an eye-area injury that isn't dangerous…those black eyes get sexy) and this didn't look so good.
I feel weird using this photo, but we've photoshopped real dicks into pictures before so I guess we can't go and get cocky about not showing men being in pain. Not where the line is going to be drawn.

Mostly we want to throw it out there for Cooke's face. Obviously concerned about what happened. 
Word came down that Karlsson's Achilles tendon was lacerated. He's going to be in surgery, unfortunately. We really hope that he recovers quickly.

MOST RELIEF
The Sens have been pretty on point, both in this game and their previous games. Going into the third tied is pretty nerve wracking. Luckily Engelland shoots from the point and Neal finds the rebound. It settles us down a little.

This is apparently Neal's official fist bumping face. Exactly the same as the first goal photo.
Unreal.
 

MOST SATISFYING ENDING TO MOST ANNOYING HABIT
Sometimes we get a little too pass-happy. It gets frustrating as shit.
But then we are reminded that it is sometimes very effective.
We pass so much that Anderson's head exploded. Sid takes advantage and passes to the back of an empty net. It's pretty amazing. 

BIGGEST BABIES
As said, we really feel for Karlsson. We hate that this happened to him. Obviously no one wants to lacerate someone else's tendons  - but for some reason when it happens with guys like Cooke, everyone thinks it was intentional. 
Neil and Cooke get into some shit, clearly because of what happened to Karlsson. 

Just stop it.
Grudges due to accidents are worthless. Protect your teammates, but don't start shit over something someone obviously didn't mean to do. 

WINNINGEST MOMENT
Winning.
Suck it.
 

INDIVIDUAL AWARD

MOST FLEXIBLE 

ALT THREE STARS
1. Tyler Kennedy. If he were just a hockey fan, he would be the guy who screams SHOOOOOOT!
2. Steiggy and Errey. For being so excited about this entire game.
3. Tangradi. For being in search of cheesecake elsewhere.

 

WOOOOOOOOOOOO
Go Pens.

Kim

About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.

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