are you ready?

Set your alarms because tomorrow morning is pretty much the only game, no matter how much you love women's hockey in general, that matters on an international stage.  USA vs. Canada, 7:30AM EST.

Canada is the traditional powerhouse and they have not yet allowed a goal in this tournament–because they have yet to face the likes of the USA forwards, who have also scored at will against the lesser teams.



mmmffff Amanda Kessel aka dream girl

This is an extremely young team, by the way, our Team USA women.  We've got a lot of fresh-out-of-college talent.  If you don't know much about the particulars of these ladies (and we don't, because we barely have enough time in our stupid asshole lives to keep the NHL straight, which gets national coverage, let alone all of college hockey)–characterize Team USA as the spunky fucking upstarts.  The oldest player on the entire team is 28-year-old goalie Jessie Vetter.

Canada, by contrast, are more or less the old guard of all of women's hockey.  We appreciate the hell out of Team Canada, as does the rest of the internet, for being badass bitches when they won gold in Vancouver, with their cigars and champagne and beer and general awesomeness.  It was a great moment for women's hockey in general.

But that is the last thing we want to see this year, and the USA ladies have a chance to make a huge statement tomorrow morning.

I'm setting my alarm for 5:30 so I can make it to my work early and watch the game before my office opens.  Seriously.  You should do the same.  It's going to be wild.  I'll have some Dunkin Donuts to celebrate and will live tweet the shit out of it.


we dare you to somehow be more beautiful



Seth Rorabaugh of Empty Netters makes predictions in brief about each of the men's teams at Sochi, and pulls the ultimate troll move by going "ambiguous" about Russia's prospects on home ice, predicting a Swedish gold medal, USA with the silver again, and CANADA IN FOURTH PLACE.  This is dangerous, dangerous journalism.

Oh and in case you forgot Russia condones violence against the LGBTQ population which is fucking disgusting and Sochi is now basically a trash heap scar on a once-pristine landscape, which has seen its local communities bulldozed and destroyed for the benefit of Vladimir Putin's self-boner.




About Zoë

from Fayette County, living in Boston, chronically fussy. Writing about the Penguins, the CWHL/women's hockey, and hockey/sports media criticism.