I mean, I understand the the Jackets are kind of new to being in a situation where they are pitted against the Penguins…but do we have to borrow Flyers fan tactics that stopped being relevant in 2008 (if we’re being generous?)
Tonight’s game was a confused mess that became even more confusing when we won. What the hell is going on here? And is there a specific attachment to the 4-3 score? Is it a sign or an omen? We fear for our souls. We fear for all of our souls.
We were steamrolled in the first period. Despite a heavy lead in shots on net and attempted shots, the Blue Jackets dominated physically. The best thing to be said for our PP was that we didn’t let up any shorties. Yaaaay.
The Jackets headed out of the first with a well-deserved 2-0.
The Jackets apparently spent a lot of energy bending us over in the first period and looked a little slower in the second, meaning that the Pens could actually keep up.
Despite a rough first goal in the first period that he should have been able to stop, MAF has been standing tall in this game, and really showed up in the second to keep us in the battle. Crosby and Malks are noticeably unnoticeable in this game.
With pretty much no time at all left in the second, the Pens get a boost from the last person you expected. Bennett got a pass to Orpik, who shocked and amazed us all by putting a wrister right by Bobrosky’s glove for a really pretty goal.
Well I’ll be goddamned.
If we thought momentum was going to carry over into the third, however, our hopes were as wrongly misplaced as the nervous teenage girl buying 10 pregnancy tests at the dollar store. Tanger shit the bed on a play by Dubinsky and the puck goes in off of Calvert’s body just one minute into the period.
And then…something happened. In 6 minutes the Penguins manage to score three goals only by the grace of Curry God himself.
First it’s Sutter, redirecting a short from Martin. Then, it’s Stempniak in league with Kunitz. finally, we get a pull-ahead from Maatta, after he throws a puck donated by Malkin to the net and it deflects in off of some bodies.
The game cashes out at 4-3, with the Pens ahead. It seems impossible and weird. No one really knows what is happening.
We’re glad for the win, as always, but we have a lot of questions. Why are our special teams such trash? Why is Sid making such terrible plays? What happened to our childhood innocence and whimsy? It’s all a mystery to us.
We’re ahead in the series, sure. But overall it’s sketchy and weird and all of our fingernails are chewed the hell off. Nothing feels safe, and we’re keeping nightlights on tonight.
What we’re saying is: Be prepared for anything in this series. It’s uglier than it should be, but also just about as ugly as we all suspected it would be.
Hopefully we’ll get it together. And can we move away from the 4-3 thing? Seriously. Give us something new to work with over here.