pens for lsd.

The Penguins need to take tonight to prove to the universe that they can still dominate puck possession some of the time, maybe, if they feel like it. We know there are nights when Sid had a headache or Malks has just been really stressed at work or Kunitz was way too sore from that yoga class he took with Karen, but really guys, we need to get it together tonight and keep that puck on our sticks. 

We feel good and confident after last night and have the added benefit of being on home turf, so now is a key time to not only win, but to win right. 

(Quick recap tonight because my computer’s got about 40 minutes left on it and I don’t have a charger so lol ya know.) 

MOST EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING
39 seconds into the game there is a stoppage in play for an offsides call. It’s not really noteworthy in itself…until play is next stopped a solid 13:45 minutes later. 13:45 seconds of solid play is more than we are trained to handle, and we can only bow down to the boys in both nets for dealing with that.

During the continuous play the Caps had two shots on goal where the Penguins had seven, and puck possession was solidly on out side. 

I google imaged “good job” to try to find an appropriate award to give the boys but instead I found this lump of flesh with a horn.


You may wonder what this creature has to do with hockey, but we’re willing to bet that this isn’t too far off from Ilya Bryzgalov’s spirit animal. 

LINE WE WISH WOULDN’T VANISH INTO THE ETHER
Nisky, Jokinen, and Malkin looked good together for a play late in the first. Malks gets it to Nisky, Nisky slams it towards the net, and Jussi screens and re-directs the puck right past Halak. 

Getting attached to a line on the Penguins right now is like getting attached to…What do you people even like other than hockey? I think Game of Thrones characters die a lot, from what I hear. Lemme look it up. 
Seriously, is this what you people do on off nights? I don’t understand any of you.

LEAST LIKELY TO BE REPORTED ON
The second period was a period that happened but I don’t really have much to say about it.

The Penguins kept it up with shots, clocking out at 39-27. 

No one’s sure if tonight’s Ice Time was advocating for gay rights or legalization of LSD, but either way, we’re for it.

Also noteworthy: MAF is a fucking monster. 

MOST WELCOME FRIENDSHIP
Stempniak was pretty eh with Crosby and Kunitz early in the game, but he seemed to find his groove somewhere in the second period. By the third, there was some good chemistry going on. 

Stempniak gets a puck past Brower at the right point to Sid, who takes it up the ice with Kunitz. Hillen is the third wheel in the situation and totally cockblocks Sid’s pass route to Kunitz. By doing so, he left the shot wide open, and Sid takes the space to blast it past Halak on the far side. 

It puts the score at 2-0 for the final buzzer. Woooooo!

INDIVIDUAL AWARD

AMBER ALERT

ALT THREE STARS
Stempniak – We really wanna like him. KEEP GIVING US REASONS TO PLZ.
MAF – Srsly.
Beagle – For making us think of Beagles

Go Pens.

Kim

About Kim

I bleed Pittsburgh but also blood and I need that, so please don't cut me.

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