The Penguins acquired (wait for it) (as if you don't already know) Lee Stempniak and Marcel Goc.
Stempniak in Calgary the last few seasons:
Obviously Calgary is trash, but what stands out to us is his relatively high amount of ice time over the last few seasons. If he can be counted on to play reliably on regular shifts, we're down. Ignore his +/-. Calgary is the worst.
If Lee Stempniak were a kitten, we think he'd be this one:
Marcel Goc is a bit of a more interesting acquisition. He kills at faceoffs and is basically considered a shutdown center. Unsure how he will be played since the Pens always seem to have 4893432095890324023 guys (approx. estimation) who can "play center or wing" and they tend to play really weird guys at center (obviously the top six notwithstanding). Brandon Sutter is pretty much considered the de facto third line center of the Pens, and he wasn't dealt, despite expectations that he might be. Could be that the Pens are trying to solidify the hell out of the bottom six and maybe turn the third and fourth lines into some kind of iron wall that won't just be "tough to play against" in terms of hitting and intangibles, but actually provide some skill to create turnovers and actually go the other way with them. Keep in mind that the Pens' bottom six, right now, play 10-12 minutes a night and just try not to fuck up most of the time. Dan Bylsma's irregular habits of shuffling lines and creating matchups (WILL HE OR WON'T HE???? TUNE IN TONIGHT!!!!) don't lend well to this. Depth players like Stempniak and Goc will in theory make all four lines of the Penguins harder to play against. If they play Goc at fourth line center, watch the fuck out–that could turn into a legitimate line.
If Marcel Goc were a kitten, he'd be this one:
note how it's friends with a dog. key.
We didn't have the time to obsessively watch Twitter all day yesterday but we're kind of glad we didn't because Kesler didn't move and that's about as exciting as life could have potentially gotten.
Dan Ellis and Roberto Luongo is the new goaltending duo in Florida, perhaps the two most opposite goalie Twitter personalities of all time becoming one delicious, glorious, awkward social mess. We secretly like Florida and we wish Lu all the best.
If you need something to really put you asleep before bedtime, check it out: http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/transactions/
Go Pens. Tonight at 10:30 vs. San Jose. Let's hope we keep the good feelings in our hearts.