congratulations, rob scuderi

Here’s to us. Who’s like us? DAMN FEW. Congratulations to the LA Kings on their victory, and congratulations to Rob Scuderi, who is awesome and deserves great things. Enjoy your summer, friends. And, as always: GO PENS

of drag queens and dylan thomas

Hello, friends. I don’t know what to say. What can be said? I’m bereft. We are all bereft. Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had […]


angry friday: a blingee exorcism

Hello, friends. I am pretty sure that we have the best readers in all of blog-land, because they make us fabulous Blingees that we then post for your amusement and edification. Witness: Courtesy of Carski, the masterpiece “KTang and the Flow in Your Mouth” Also, the inspiration for the title of this post: From rexy278, […]


the end is the beginning

Hello, friends. And so we came to the end. Not the end of hockey (thank Curry) but the end of the regular season. We are fortunate enough to be able to wake up tomorrow and wait on tenterhooks for the playoff schedule to see when next we’ll need to stock up on cheap beer and […]


the islanders can suck our balls

Hello, friends. I have had some plague lately, which is most unfortunate, but it didn’t stop me from witnessing Sunday’s game in person. WHAT A SHOW. Illness has also not stopped me from applying my sound hockey knowledge (read: blind luck) to my fantasy hockey league, in which I am engaged in a bitter showdown […]


moments of excellence

Hello, friends. I was all set to recap this game in the normal way, but I spent the whole night laid up on the couch feeling pukey. In lieu of a real recap, I give you a single picture that conveys everything you need to know about this game: Yeah. It was pretty much like […]


frosty mountain refreshment

Hello, friends. Once again, it’s time for my favorite matchup ever. My current favorite team against my previous favorite team? I CANNOT BE SAD ABOUT THE OUTCOME OF THIS GAME! As always, before every Pens/Avs game, I give you… MARY’S MOM’S PREGAME COMMENTARY “Matt Duchene is over an injury and started to score again, which […]


hockey day in america

Hello, friends. It is “Hockey Day in America” which, as far as I can tell, is an excuse for NBC Sports to come up with soft-focus features about the awesomeness of hockey. Now we all know that hockey is great; that’s why we read blogs like this and park ourselves on the couch at 12:30 […]


donuts for everyone

Hello, friends. I don’t know about you, but my Saturday is crammed so full of stuff that it’s starting to squeak. Watching this hockey game is about the only break I’m going to get today, in between running errands, editing a paper for a nervous pearl-clutching grad student, and going on a Hot Date later […]

the 2012 all-star game

Hello, friends. As the All-Star Game is the most ridiculous of all this year’s hockey events, I present to you Highlights from PH Commentary on the All-Star Opening Ceremonies. Kim: I am going to go make myself a stiff drink zoë: WHO IS THIS PERSON PERFORMINGWHAT IS THISthere are cameramnen on skatesMary: like you doKim: MVP = […]


russian perfection and floppy-haired excellence

Hello, friends. It feels like it’s been forever since we talked. I hope you had a pleasant winter holiday and that your return to school and/or work was not entirely traumatic. For my part, I just handled a personal crisis that required the purchase of hideous (yet comfortable) brown clogs that I will be wearing […]


jordan is clearly the superior staal

Hello, friends. I hope you all had a lovely $WINTERHOLIDAY, whichever one you may happen to celebrate. I had a good Christmas, except for the part on Christmas Eve where my mother-in-law and I split a box of Franzia and I woke up to a very hungover Christmas morning. However, I am much recovered. Just […]


the night we made ryan miller cry

Hello, friends. Tonight’s recap will not be written in rhyming couplets, because I think I may have broke my rhyme muscle with that last one. Also, I’m slightly mad, because my dear TKhusband will be at this game with one of our friends, and I am clearly not joining them at the CEC tonight. He’s […]


with apologies to clement clark moore

‘Twas a cold night in Nassau when the Penguins arrivedTo challenge those jerks on the Islanders’ side.Their fans are obnoxious, the beer’s overpriced,And the floor’s super sticky. There’s probably mice. But we Penguins faithful will watch every game.Location’s no biggie, we’ll tune in the same.Join me (in my Snuggie) and Zoë (with a drink)As we […]


this just in: capitals still fat

Hello, friends. Every time the Pens play the Caps, it turns into a Big Deal. A lot of people have had a lot of things to say about the decline and fall of Bruce Boudreau, and even though I’m not a huge fan of the guy, I’m not about to rag on him too much […]