Is the word they whisper low. Oh yeah, PH just dropped a Roy Orbison reference. Shit just got fucking real. This game was also fucking real. Without like half of our defensemen, the Pens let in the Boston Bruins, who have points in like every single game they’ve played ever apparently and no one can […]

with balls and brute strength

This is usually the time of the season when you get a feeling in your heart about who your team is going to be this year.Sure,  there will be streaks of bad and good, but it’s probably the best feeling in the world to sit down to watch a game in mid-December (whether in front […]


and so we wept of joy

“BEEJ IN YOUR FACES” – the demure Ms. Mary In ROOT Sports’ most valiant attempts to get you drunk, they gave you this: They also gave us this, so from the bottom of our hearts, we have to extend a big, full shot of cheapest vodka: FUCK YEAHFAYETTE COUNTY REPRESENTWOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOwoooooo No honestly, this game was […]


NHL.COM YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELVES AGAIN YOU KNOW WHO PROBABLY HAS PLENTY OF DUCKHE PROBABLY EXHAUSTED THE SUPPLY BEFORE BRUCE EVEN GOT TO CALIFORNIA IT’S A FUCKING CONSPIRACY Also, Bryzgalov played like poop and Hiller stood on his head. This was an overtime loss. Br00tal. Fuck. We play the Canes tonight. All right then. Bring it […]


this just in: capitals still fat

Hello, friends. Every time the Pens play the Caps, it turns into a Big Deal. A lot of people have had a lot of things to say about the decline and fall of Bruce Boudreau, and even though I’m not a huge fan of the guy, I’m not about to rag on him too much […]

the dog ate it.

I. Intros are for suckas.     1. But still seen as necessary in some internet societies.     2. Like a literary overture         a. themes will continue throughout post.         b. this letter bullet is necessary if I want to have an “a” point.     3. Often tells readers whether or […]


flirting dangerously with Justice

The high (or hangover) from last night was probably still palpable when you sat down to watch this game. You didn’t even realize what you were in for. A classic Saturday night in Canada, a media circus. Not going to be one of those normal games, is it? Not even a normal game against the […]


nobody can be a camel

 We insist that you accept this photo as proof that Kim and Zoë are together (along with cohorts Nikos and Jon) in the viewing of this game.Our spirits are in the forms of Bob Errey, and Joe Vitale (who is apparently “going at” Nick Foligno right now).We also have a cat.  His name is Steve.“A […]

blues shmooes

We care deeply about the Penguins and everything, but today erryone is in transit.Zoe is somewhere in airport purgatory.Mary is en route to the dirty Jerz (Mary, trust me, I know what it’s like and I feel your pain.) I’m makin’ my way back to my FC Trash origins. It’s allegedly the biggest party night […]


we are on the journey

The journey to the center of the earth. The journey to heaven. They’re kind of one in the same, you know. Pushing into the unknown through a haze of dirt or light or clouds. The only difference is connotative. Are we finding buried treasure, or are we joining our brothers in heaven? OKAY I DON’T […]

why sidney crosby is a man

Sean Conboy at Pittsburgh Magazine took care of explaining it, as if you didn’t already know.  


PH Staff was on-hand for this game. The last time we got to see Sid live and in person. Rest assured, it’s gonna happen again. Motherfucking Monday. tomorrow! Go Pens.



So uhhh…Not only is it cold outside, the internet is being douchey, I just happened to close my internet window after writing this entire post the first time without saving it, AND this game happened.Fuck. Sometimes bad nights happen. Sometimes bad weeks, months, and years happen. We can’t get too bent out of shape about […]


sing me a song, you’re the piano man

Hello, friends. When I saw that this game was on the schedule, I got very excited. I grew up watching the Avs play and hearing about my mom’s inappropriate hockey crushes, so when I saw they were coming to Pittsburgh, I immediately called dibs on this game. Also, I must give Mom a hat tip […]