smoking with cigarettes.

The Habs are like this terrible thorn in your side that never ever goes away. And then, of course, the thorned area gets infected. And then gangrenous. And they bring Carey Price with them, too.  He's so SAD. Not starting is a serious burn. He's gonna have to talk to mad jagerbombs to sort out this […]


OH NOOOOO THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF ANY SEASON EVER HAS BEEN CANCELLED WHATEVER SHALL WE DO Really it’s still hilarious how HBO thinks that the Winter Classic is hockey’s greatest stage; idk but I’m almost grateful that we don’t have to deal with that bullshit again. The WC as the League’s signature event is […]

gonch and gene are still in love

The lockout has brought them closer to good Russian cooking, and to each other. Both are playing for Magnitogorsk during the lockout. Gonch is living in the “base” apparently which stirs up mental images of him being in some kind of military bunker, wearing fabulous sweaters and smoking a briar pipe next to the ventilation […]

oh so lol

It is going to be a long, long summer. We didn’t make it rain. But there’s plenty of time. Go Pens.

church of crosby and parise?

LINE UP FOR WORSHIP. PariseWatch is in full effect and Rejean locked Sid down for 12 years at the same 8.7 million dollar cap hit he’s been chilling with for years now. Even if the Pens don’t get Parise, we’d like to offer this Blingee as a tribute to Sid and Zachary’s international friendship (the […]

RIP Jordan Staal–the end of an era

Fuck. So if you live under a rock/hate the Internet, you are the only person who doesn’t know that Staal turned down $60 million over 10 years this week and there were all these ~~~~rumors. Well, he’s gone. For an 8th overall pick this year (hello to Derrick Pouliot–we weren’t even sure if we wanted […]

the golden gods

Oh so here is Gene being the best person of all time: The Fan Police will have you believe that he did something wrong, that he made a faux pas by calling this “the best day of his life.” It probably is the best day of his life, idiots. When else has he been able […]


congratulations, rob scuderi

Here’s to us. Who’s like us? DAMN FEW. Congratulations to the LA Kings on their victory, and congratulations to Rob Scuderi, who is awesome and deserves great things. Enjoy your summer, friends. And, as always: GO PENS



Because accusing people of being pedophiles is HILARIOUS, rite? Link to the post.apparently making graphics containing inappropriate statements that you don’t agree wtih and plastering on the Internet is acceptable?I mean we’re all for free speech, when it isn’t outlandish and hateful. Pedophiles molest children.Brooks Orpik is a hockey player.What on earth makes someone request […]


Probably on the Kings bandwagon screaming into the void and fellating everyone. I know we shouldn’t be mad at the Kings or hoping they don’t win because they’re an 8 seed, wouldn’t that be cool But we’re just assholes. We’re not sorry. THE HIPSTEREST OF THE HIPSTERS AND THE BEARDS AND THE URBAN OUTFITTERS Could […]

the day wonderland ceased to be: farewell to the 2011-2012 coyotes

Isn’t all of this Internet chirping getting out of hand? I mean. That’s an erroneous statement. People have been dicks about being fans of something since fandom came to be and since people started using words, so it’s been probably millions of years since this whole chirping thing has been ~out of hand. We’ll say […]

OH BROOKS. we knew this day would come

Come on if Brooks Orpik thinks being gay is perfectly all right how can you say no? Do you want to wake up with your family eviscerated? We love You Can Play. I mean we’re the kind of people who like to make firm stances about equality ~in general~ but their narrow focus is bringing […]


Officially Team Marty/Petey/Mark Fayne unf unf.  newfound respect for The Fat. ~GO PENS~ IN THE FUTURE AND BEYOND but the Devils are our boys tonight.



Hey let’s check out some more awful experiences in applying to be a member of the promotional crew for a hockey team! Today we lose respect for the Columbus Blue Jackets organization. Just a smidge. God damn it. Check out the application here, all interested young folks. It’s all going really well until you get […]


REASONS YOU SHOULD ROOT FOR THE COYOTES FOR THE REST OF THE POSTSEASON 1. Ray Whitney Ray Whitney is the kind of guy who plays his balls off. He is also nearing 40 and continues to be an extremely prolific scorer on a team that would never be considered “high octane.” He is also kind […]