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up against your will

We’ve been calling for Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen to be the theme of this series and somehow it’s making more sense because we lost and this isn’t exactly the most thrilling song of all time. Some luxury car used this in their commercial with some fucking vampires. Idiots. This offseason is probably […]

protip: claude giroux is confused about what truth is

Oh Jesus fucking Christ, yinz guys.Claude Giroux: linking us up with biddies since 2012.Check out this bullshit. Oh all right let’s just go ahead and condescend the entire female community.“Ladies” please.Yeah we love hockey.  We love sports and the sporting community and we love people who are a part of it (generally).  But people with […]

you can’t even can this heat.

This skeleton crew sails on, on this ghost ship of DREAMS. LYRICS ARE IN THE DESCRIPTION apparently. Whatever.If you didn’t know this boogie was for real without lyrics, you don’t need to be listening to this song.  Pittsburgh was suffering some major oxygen deficiencies this evening. At least that’s the impression everyone got when they realized […]

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file my nails and gouge out my eyes

Sit down kids we are going to tell you a story. We have provided the mood music for those of you who do not live inside our sick and twisted minds. Before this game there were no answers, and frankly we still don’t think there are answers. . .merely a sloppy, sticky mess of feelings […]

the long slow stroll through hades

Nothing we can say on this blog that hasn’t been said already elsewhere. NHL is in a cultural breakdown of violence, Pens will be without Adams, Asham, and James Neal for game 4. Hossa taken out of Game 3 of his series on a stretcher tonight. Unbelievable shit. The Penguins will determine tomorrow evening if […]

of drag queens and dylan thomas

Hello, friends. I don’t know what to say. What can be said? I’m bereft. We are all bereft. Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had […]

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angry friday: a blingee exorcism

Hello, friends. I am pretty sure that we have the best readers in all of blog-land, because they make us fabulous Blingees that we then post for your amusement and edification. Witness: Courtesy of Carski, the masterpiece “KTang and the Flow in Your Mouth” Also, the inspiration for the title of this post: From rexy278, […]

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fuck your dreams

And as the national media slobbered all over themselves about how the Pens were “the team to beat” we knew it wasn’t true. It’s never true. Over the years in hockey, all of the injustices basically even out so that everyone gets exactly what they deserve. We fully believe the Penguins are still atoning hardcore […]

flyers versus penguins: because it hurts so good

We’ve been here before, you know. There is going to be an absolute cacophony of voices in our heads and in our faces over the next week-plus, yelling and screaming and whining and kicking down the borders of consciousness. NBC Sports will turn the contrast up on those oranges and blacks and whites and golds, […]

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the end is the beginning

Hello, friends. And so we came to the end. Not the end of hockey (thank Curry) but the end of the regular season. We are fortunate enough to be able to wake up tomorrow and wait on tenterhooks for the playoff schedule to see when next we’ll need to stock up on cheap beer and […]

okay so here’s the fucking drama spread

The Pens lost the last game because they let the Flyers get in their heads and spent waaaay too much time looking up “defense” in the thesaurus and wondering if it meant “just kind of loosely shuffle the puck about.” Then there was the Joe Vitale drama, which we don’t want to talk about. People […]

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SPITTING BLOOD

I have no idea what happened for most of two periods of this game because I was eating a sandwich and yelling about things. I’m sorry that this happened and I understand that my allegiance to my team might be called into question. But: I consider my weekly interaction with Other Human Beings for reasons […]

technological breakdown

So there were a lot of things that went wrong last night. This is what happens when we start whipping it out and screaming OH MY GOD EVERYONE LOOK HOW HUGE IT IS!!!“Hey, Hey Steve, check it out.”“Goddamnit Sid, that is the last time you get me.”“Heh heh heh. Gay.”  We can’t get too cocky, […]

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the islanders can suck our balls

Hello, friends. I have had some plague lately, which is most unfortunate, but it didn’t stop me from witnessing Sunday’s game in person. WHAT A SHOW. Illness has also not stopped me from applying my sound hockey knowledge (read: blind luck) to my fantasy hockey league, in which I am engaged in a bitter showdown […]

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