please keep all limbs and extremities inside the vehicle

THIS RECAP IS SUPER LATE BECAUSE THE PLACE WHERE WE USUALLY GET PHOTOS WAS BROKEN AND ALSO MY MIND DIED.  enjoy I'm a massive asshole and totally didn't even notice the time.  Somehow, by the time I tuned into the game at 10:19PM, the game already had two goals.  And then Glass fought someone named […]

isn’t it past your bedtime?

Late night hockey can be trying for us poor east coast bastards. We swap out our liquor for coffee with liquor and pray that our poor little souls can keep it together late enough to follow what is happening on the ice. Petition to transport all east coast fans to the west coast for games […]

trade deadline recap (with kittens)

The Penguins acquired (wait for it) (as if you don't already know) Lee Stempniak and Marcel Goc. Stempniak in Calgary the last few seasons:   Obviously Calgary is trash, but what stands out to us is his relatively high amount of ice time over the last few seasons.  If he can be counted on to […]

now we have to deal with this shit.

Signs that tonight’s game will be interesting, if not a little grating: – Stress about tomorrow is at fever pitch. We’ll spare you the speculation. It’s plentiful elsewhere and makes us want to rip our chest cavities open. – Before puck drop, Steiggy and Bobby both have used the term “Smashville” several times. Can we not.- […]

on your mark, get set, terrible.

On a typical game night the media struggles to provide us with photos of the actual goals that take place. Not so for the Stadium Series – the media shitriver can’t wait to wash these gemstones ashore.  While it would be fun to throw shade at the Stadium Series all day, we can’t waste our […]


Post coming later about the most pointless outdoor game (descending into tragedy) featuring an esoteric performance by a pop band we all happily forgot about until they were dredged back up like a bloated corpse of a long forgotten serial killing spree.

it’s a pretty bad place outside this door

Somehow, Jeff Jimerson makes "O Canada!" sound less repulsive than it normally would be in these tough times.  PK Subban is doing a fucking jig during the Canadian anthem.  And a lingering shot of Sidney Crosby seals the deal.  This is going to be a difficult and emotional evening.  During the US anthem, Dan Bylsma […]

what even is the NHL

So, the Penguins are back tonight, and my preparedness is minimal. I watched my first NHL game in what felt like millennia last night.  Bruins vs. Sabres on NBC.  For a game that went to OT, I failed to feel the Deep Feelings that I know hockey can bring me.  It was a great time, […]

not even ready

oh god we're not ready for the NHL to come back on Wednesday we'll pregame with a drunk blog of the Bruins vs. Sabres game on NBC, over at Stanley Cupcake, with Bruins fan friends. Zoë will also be beginning coverage elsewhere of the Boston Blades of the CWHL.  We'll update you when that actually […]

the real legacy of olympic hockey

It seems like we're stuck in an eternal paradox.  Professionalism versus passion, home versus country, what's accessible versus what is buried. Last Olympics didn't feel nearly this close in talent, didn't feel so precariously balanced on a pin's head.  Close games, surprising performances, and deeper heartbreak than we knew we could experience over sports that […]


We're broken for analysis, because we are still a little crushed–but also so proud of the USA Women's National Hockey Team.  You guys are amazing.  We still are kind of tearing up every time we think about the game. We all know what happened, we don't have to repeat it.  Team USA didn't close out. […]

RIP Your Feelings and Sanity: the quarterfinals are just the beginning

capsule previews of the four quarterfinal matchups tomorrow.  single elimination hurts and burns.  For unknown reasons we have decided to compare each game to food. 3:00AM ET – Sweden vs Slovenia The Slovenian team is a actually not awful.  They keep pushing away.  However, they’ve drawn the #1 seed in the quarters.  Let’s hope they […]

on Finnish goalie Noora Räty, via the Pink Puck

Check this shit out. A very good read on Finnish goalie Noora Räty and the state of women's hockey in general over at The Pink Puck.  I had never heard of Noora Räty until Sunday because my knowledge of women's hockey is woefully limited.  (Apparently immediately after I read this, their site went down, so […]