strip down

ETA: don’t see one person wearing anything CBJ in this pic. insane.Even the haters have to agree that the Penguins are paying some unreal hockey and that Crosby is looking like the kind of player you thought you’d never see in the NHL again.Nine games is a long time not to lose a game of […]


it was a picasso tonight, steiggy

Okay, we feel kinda bad. We just dick whipped Columbus like really hard and it was kinda rude. This is Filatov before a game in Anaheim. He saw Godzilla coming from there. BEST SIGNS Brooks is looking pretty serene pre-game in the locker room. It’s almost like he knew that he was going to get […]


CRASH MY NET FRIDAY and hairhairhair

It is entirely possible that this week broke the Crash My Net Friday machine, so to speak. You know, we take pride on being the kind of people who appreciate subtleties. The little defensive miracles, the simple but smart hockey plays, the struggles of the underdog, the things that guys can accomplish on the ice […]


well goddamn it IS a wonderful world

All right All right. We understand you had to get something up quickly in the wake of Sid being a one-man wrecking crew of doom. But you couldn’t have thrown the guy a bone? Clearly there are very few awards that would be worthy of Sid’s individual effort this evening, but we have to […]


wealth of information

Hair League updates will come soon (like tomorrow before the game or some shit) one we wade through all of the media that has been thrust into our faces today. Ben Lovejoy read to some kids. . . .I mean, really. God, literacy is sexy. That’s 35 hair points in the photo gallery right there. […]

briefly addressing the slewfoot thing

Listen, Brandon. YES, you. THAT Brandon. You realize that you play for a team that employs Sean Avery? You also realize that almost everyone in the league commits questionable plays at one time or another? And that it’s considered relatively professional to move on from these moments and accept them as part of your career? […]



You may be wondering why there are 66 o’s in the wooo of the title.·Interestingly enough, Mario’s number just so happened to come up when I held in the o too long because I am drunk! I then thought it would be fun to point out an excess of o’s due to intoxication, but when […]


Hair League Sunday

Hair League page has received its updates. Brent Johnson has overtaken Pascal Dupuis as the lead point-getter. Dude never wears a hat when he’s on the bench. We questioned those of you who picked Beej at the beginning of the season, but he is proving to be a surprise hair prospect. Every game we get […]

breath of winter

OH HEY, look at what team is currently the hottest in the NHL after raising all kinds of uncomfortable questions about consistency! But, we could just enjoy this for what it was, which is: a pure win on a pure day. We woke up to snow. We drove to Pittsburgh with sandwiches and our toes […]



If anyone was wondering where we were, Pinnacle found us about midday, wondering the streets naked and mumbling something about a mission involving a $3 toaster that we did not accomplish. It took us into its loving arms and caressed us back into warmth and happiness with a side of root beer.· If ever we […]


Oh look, yesterday was Thanksgiving, the Pens literally play in like 10 minutes. We are thankful for, among other things, stampedes at big box stores on Black Friday in Fayette County. And people from high school, not to mention people from college, who still update their Facebook statuses with Fight Club quotes. And Rob Rossi’s […]

oh, okay. whatever

There really isn’t a ton we can say about this game. Pens had a dominant first period, kind of fell off, Sabres took the fuck over. If you Google the babySwede that the Sabres started in goal, Google initially believes that you have typed incorrectly and meant to search for: The Jonas Brothers. Also Comrie […]

for the record

In marry, fuck, or kill, we would: MARRYSir Mario. Because really, why wouldn’t you?  You realize that if you killed him, you’re committing a heinous religious offense, right? Ruutu. Because he would take us to metal concerts and would probably be cool with us screwing other people from time to time. McCabe. No particular reason, other […]



There is never a time when the Penguins venture to BankAtlantic center that we aren’t amazed it’s still there. You’d think someplace so absurd and unlikely would have been excised from America and dropped straight into the unforgiving seas. Nope, let’s check. . . Ugh. It’s still there. FSN introduces us in media res with […]


Welcome to the first official rounds of Marry, Fuck, or Kill:The PH Version. Here are the rules, for those of you unfortunate enough to have missed this in the back of the junior high school bus.We present you with three individuals and you must choose which you would marry, fuck, or kill. Simple enough.The selections […]