motherly love.

Before we get started here, it is important that we point out: The Staals; They are bothers. If we had been playing the Sutter Drinking Game, we wouldn’t have lived to tell this tale.Now that we’ve got that cleared up and out of the way, let’s continue on with the show. MOMENT YOU BARELY REMEMBERED BY […]


you were scared, but. . .

There was no reason for you to be. There might have been something in the air, a sour tang you could smell, like electrical tension, like a potential nuclear disaster. But the Penguins didn’t let it happen, somehow. Real hockey was played in Pittsburgh last evening. It deserves to be recognized. We were saved from […]

taking out the trash

Sometimes, it’s a wonder when you get out of bed in the morning and don’t totally fuck yourself up by walking into a wall and/or pooping your pants. Today is one of those days. you know, unless your name is Robert Luongo. Recap in the AM. Go Pens.

the rise of a king and the fall of a queen

Please refer to Ann’s postgame post and submit your evil Blingees and evil Marc Staal mustache drawings to Marc Staal has quickly become the least favorite Staal. Also, if you were watching last night, you had to take one shot of Canadian whiskey at least because Steigerwald was all Staal Brothers Drinking Game on […]



I have no real input on this game.· MStaal, I blame you. ·Stick everywhere, constantly in the box, a fuckin goal. He was just such a dick tonight. Dude, my ode to you: so much redhead shameyou knew you needed to scorestill no christmas gifts In the spirit of bad sportsmanship, please enjoy these photos […]


playing with the unknowns

Travels to Atlanta, Georgia are always nebulous, like we said. We wonder why there is a hockey team in Atlanta and if anyone else knows about it. We love Georgia. But if we ever move to the land of sweet tea and violence, could we ever be Thrashers fans? . . .the dramatic silhouettes do […]

preventative measures

It’s a Saturday night in the middle of November. The Pens played what seemed to be their first or second truly decent game of the season Friday in Pittsburgh against Tampa. Fleury looked like himself for 60 whole minutes. We saw his lone regular season win become two. Word has just come down that he […]

gotta start small.

Well, okay. Maybe the Bolts had lost 4 out of 5 previous games before stepping onto our ice this evening. Maybe the Lightning aren’t exactly what we would call “worthy opponents.” But really, when your L10 is 4-5-1 and Washington is out there with an L10 of 8-2-0 and a 6 game wining streak, you’ve […]


Something that you may have noticed, that we didn’t really have time to notice until just now, is that Puck Huffers is now 2. We know that we are slovenly two-year-olds. We misbehave, scream, and sit on the floor of the mall in front of the entrance to Bon-Ton when we don’t want to walk […]


why don’t you just get the fuck out of here?

Last night was horrible. Let’s be honest. You watched 40 minutes of this game and you were like HELL YES. This is the team I know! Look at them go! Playing a real, live hockey game and not screwing up or anything!!! Going into the third period with a 4-2 lead can indeed be tricksy. […]

it’s the little things

The Bruins coming to town was probably going to be fun. Of course, we had no idea of the frolic we would have. . . .for 40 minutes. Tim is fat. Tomorrow’s a holiday. Recap then when we manage to cleanse ourselves from the radiation of fucking Chernobyl. Go Pens.


Life just Calrolled you in the face. That is, in fact, the breaking news. Because really everything is kind of boring if you put it next to that shirt that Cal is wearing. So, let’s have a moment here, you and me, about some Important Things in the life of Cal Clutterbuck. Did you know […]


get up in the morning, take a tall shot

In case you didn’t know it took us until very recently to realize that it is fucking November. Posts will now be categorized as “November” posts, not that it really matters to you at home. Stoosh gave Fleury the Cobra Scorpion Whiskey this morning. WHY DID WE NOT THINK OF THIS SOONER. We also have […]

climbing ephel dúath with mark letestu

It would be really, really daft of us to say at this point that the Pens haven’t been inconsistent and disappointing. What happened in Anaheim almost wasn’t surprising. We felt it. We knew it was over long before we declared it to ourselves. Getting two points out of anything was going to be tough. Like […]


So they Pens play the ‘Yotes in a few hours, and we haven’t even gotten around to comprehending exactly what happened last night during the Ducks game. Srsly. What a weird event. We’re going to roll out the red carpet here right quick before we have to have it dry-cleaned during the game so that […]