The awesomeness of this game can be summed up in the following VRY SRS PHOTOJOURNALISM SPECIMAN.  Well.Let me say, that photo is more about how it feels to win, get a deserved shutout for MAF, and be in bed by ten. The game itself felt sort of more like this… I DON’T MEAN TO SAY WATCHING THIS […]


hockey day in america

Hello, friends. It is “Hockey Day in America” which, as far as I can tell, is an excuse for NBC Sports to come up with soft-focus features about the awesomeness of hockey. Now we all know that hockey is great; that’s why we read blogs like this and park ourselves on the couch at 12:30 […]


A VERY TIMELY BLINGEE WAS SENT DOWN THE WIRE LAST NIGHT FROM REXY: 6 YEARS/$5 MILLION PER All commentary is irrelevant because we are too busy picking out crowns. w/e I mean no really there is a hockey business side to this but we’re just not going to comment at the moment. GO PENS ~~



and by country we mean Pittsburgh. Because if you can’t call Pittsburgh your motherland, you probably don’t grasp just how vaguely (not specifically) satisfying beating the Flyers in the regular season can be. It’s like the last cookie in the package. Waking up in the morning and finding out that there was a water main […]


little petes.

ARE YOU KIDDING MEI HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING AND YOU ARE MAKING ME WATCH SHIT LIKE THIS?!?!?! *Sigh* I wanted nothing more than to provide you with tacky jokes about Disney franchises and bad photoshops that shows the lazy comedy that we consider our go-to here at PH. But no. No one wanted that […]


god’s on your heels

Tampa Bay have officially seen the wheels come off their system tonight. The Penguins are somehow on another level where their battle capability is just insane. Also, Winnipeg and Tampa Bay both suck balls forever and ever, so we were bound to do at least a little bit of damage if we had any self-respect […]


Ahhhhhhhh the Jets. Something has to make us care about these games. Luckily the universe knows that and tries to make it easier for us. An 8-5 game on a Saturday afternoon? Thank you, oh generous Hockey Gods. It doesn’t even matter if we rock out all night and wake up at noon tomorrow. And […]

kill yourself and fuck your priorities

A point in Montreal is worth it. Now, we know it’s really irrational to be so pissed beyond all belief at a loss in a shootout, but Montreal did their best to prove, yet again, that they are whiny pieces of shit. And we will never think that they deserve to win any of the […]


These Blingees come from rexy, in honor of our two injured centers: rexy’s caption: “Staal looks longingly at a kitten.” And here is one of Sid: And here is a topical one, for tonight’s matchup against the Habs, from Loyal Friend of PH Carla:Good versus Evil indeed.May we learn something from all of this. Go […]


donuts for everyone

Hello, friends. I don’t know about you, but my Saturday is crammed so full of stuff that it’s starting to squeak. Watching this hockey game is about the only break I’m going to get today, in between running errands, editing a paper for a nervous pearl-clutching grad student, and going on a Hot Date later […]


someone deserved better than this

And that man’s name is Brent Johnson. Somehow, after last night, the Whatever we had just wasn’t quite there. Plus, everyone played way tighter. Just not much going on. Beej had an actually amazing game. Of course, there is going to be some contingent on the Internet who always thinks the Penguins goalie is to […]


good v. evil

Once upon a time, this post was to be titled “all of the balls.”But that is not what we have here, my friends, no. We do not have any of the balls, in fact. Unless we mean the good kind. In which case we are back to having all of them. In a time with […]

the ASG portraits and what they mean to you

We really have to give it to the NHL this year, btw. In making up for that completely surreal and tragic opening ceremony experience, they have turned out some of the least shitty and bizarre All-Star Game portraits yet. They’ve eliminated weird lighting techniques and have put the players in their jerseys to ensure that […]

the 2012 all-star game

Hello, friends. As the All-Star Game is the most ridiculous of all this year’s hockey events, I present to you Highlights from PH Commentary on the All-Star Opening Ceremonies. Kim: I am going to go make myself a stiff drink zoë: WHO IS THIS PERSON PERFORMINGWHAT IS THISthere are cameramnen on skatesMary: like you doKim: MVP = […]