recap: The Price is Right

Today was the much-anticipated NHL-themed episode of The Price is Right.  I will explain it to you, using pictures from my television. First, epic win by my cable provider, Atlantic Broadband, or whomever writes the descriptions: Drew Carey appears, looking like he hasn’t actually eaten an entire country made of pancakes.  The first prize is […]


We’re going to kick the day off with Shirley Manson and Garbage, “I’m Only Happy When It Rains,” an ode to Trib Total Media Rob Rossi’s outlook on life. That amazing dig on Rob Rossi by today’s Pens Report. Malkin’s also skating on a line at practice. Balllllllaaaaaaaa. Fun Hair League fact of the day: […]


Just got Internet back, and discovered that the first episode of HBO’s 24/7 is now available on the Pens site. If you haven’t seen it, head over and see it. We have a lot of questions and comments, in no particular order: – It’s like you almost feel bad for the Caps, because they don’t […]

PH Holiday

Mini-blog hiatus until we can get regular Internet access and stop being shits.  19th century blog networking over here. E-mail us if you need anything.

Bob fucking Errey

Not everyone is a huge fan of Bob Errey’s color commentary. A lot of fans of other teams who get stuck with the FSN Pittsburgh feed on game night are known to complain on YouTube and other outlets, like “Who the hell is this guy? He’s such a homer.” No, friends. Bob Errey has the […]


shake it off.

Well then.The winning streak starts on Monday.Everything was going great, and then the car engine blew up in the Fort Pitt Tunnel during rush hour on our birthday.Fuuuuuuuuuuck. This is one of those heinous losses where you’re pretty sure it’s all a nightmare.So, put on some music, upend a bottle of liquor into your faceholes, and […]

not so bad.

Ouch, Pens website. Did you really have to make it seem THAT dramatic?Even that photo. Ugh. So…ending the streak does kind of suck, but come on, can we really be that upset?As far as we’re concerned, tomorrow night we start back at game one of our next winning streak.If this had been a movie, we’d […]


NHL breakfast league? hair, etc.

Finally updated the Hair League. Here is your current top 25: The gap on the top is still closing. Can’t wait for the All-Star Game to make shit nasty.Check out theHair League Page. Also, from 4evainheaven, introducing:Absolutely beautiful logo.  We absolutely can’t think of anything that could be prettier. And, surprise.  The San Jose Sharks […]

finally, someone who knows what’s up

Dude throwing waffles in Toronto. Amazing gifs are popping up all over the Internet.  We didn’t make these. maybe we’d be more famous if we posted on HFBoards. At any rate, we consider this a public call-out to the guy throwing the waffles. Will you come over to our place for breakfast? Thanks,PH Staff.  There’s […]


shit, son

Awards show is briefly on vacation because my sinuses aren’t allowing me to stay awake at the moment. But really, here’s what you need to know about this game: it was nasty, but the Pens didn’t let the Sabres goon shit do them in. They continued to pressure them, even when it seemed like a […]

crash my net friday.

Let’s be honest.With the team functioning like this, there’s really no one who we don’t want to crash our net at any given moment. But sadly, we have the painstaking decision to make of which one we would choose above all others. Our lives are so very, very hard.Please direct some pity our way.  ERIC GODARD […]


mini blingee expo, and a call for more

We promise we’ll provide you Hair League metrics after the Sabres game–things are really heating up in the Hair League. I know we don’t update daily, but the standings change daily, in ways you wouldn’t believe. In the meantime, here are a few Leafs Blingees: Kris Versteeg, by Mouth Guard. Luke Schenn and Jonas Gustavsson […]


so good, you’ll have an existential crisis

11 wins in a row, and we can’t take it lightly. You know why. Because the target on the Pens’ backs hasn’t been bigger in the regular season for a long, long time. Last season, with the words “Stanley Cup hangover” being thrown around, people knew they had to beat the Stanley Cup Champions–but it […]


you really got a hold on me

Incredible coloring by Raquel.  Apparently the Wells-Fargo center is made of orange spraypaint.Beej’s actual hair making an appearance is very exciting. For the record, as per the last Marry/Fuck/Kill:We would fuck Ondrej Pavelec.  Long and hard.We’d marry Freddy Meyer.  Because he’s the wholesome sort.Tobias Enstrom is Swedish.  Sorry, boo.mmmmmf. BLINGEE CALL TO ARMS:Toronto Maple Leafs. […]


So this is definitely the part where we forget what losing feel like.With a 10-0-0 L10, no one wants to see the Penguins in their arena. They get enough of that shit in their nightmares.7 games outside of the team and league record, if you look at it correctly, the 7th game ends up being […]