You may assume that the above photo is a reference to the recent Penguins past, but alas, it is the ghost of the Penguins future. And it’s exactly what we need.
Everything you know is dead and gone after tonight. If only our already-fading memories of the 13/14 Pittsburgh Penguins weren’t capped off with a game akin to the stinkbug currently flopping around in its ceiling-light tomb in my living room. If only an amber alert hadn’t been issued for Sid. If only our defense made any sense as a group of humans to station in front of a net to protect its honor. If only we could time-warp back and apologize to Michel Therrien – well, you assholes who supported his firing. No skin off our backs, we had our minds rights.
*ahem* Anyway. No one is safe. To be fair, we have to assume that Sid is safe and Malkin is safe. Maybe Maatta. The entire coaching staff, sans Jacques Martin, could have their heads on the chopping block for this. Which gives us a kind of giddy fantasies that Martin could be promoted.
SHUT UP JACQUES, LET US DREAM.
This is not because of one round. Not because of one season. It’s due to years of implosions, at this point. Years. A total reconstruction is what we need. It’s what we hoped for. It’s why after watching the beginning of the playoffs we hoped we wouldn’t BS our way to the top – we need real change. And it looks like we’re going to be seeing it soon.
Anyway, off to the greens. It’s gonna be a long, hot summer of shame. We’ll be back to tell you who you should be rooting for, because we’re bossy leadership-focused bitches.
Sleep on your side tonight so you don’t choke on all that vomit.